


Where's My Goddamn Batarang?

by AdamantVibranium_SuperBoy



Series: Superboys [5]
Category: Batman - All Media Types, Red Robin (Comics), Smallville, Superman - All Media Types, Under the Red Hood, Young Justice (Cartoon)
Genre: Bat Brothers, Dimension Travel, F/M, Gen, Kryptonians, M/M, Marijuana, Multi, Multiverse, Sexual Humor, Superheroes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-12
Updated: 2019-06-27
Packaged: 2020-03-01 08:35:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 39,369
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18796786
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AdamantVibranium_SuperBoy/pseuds/AdamantVibranium_SuperBoy
Summary: After the events ofLove's Like a Batarang(by njw), the young heroes of theWhere's My Goddamn Dinosaur?universes take a plunge through the multiverse and wake up in the world whereSuperboys(by AdamantVibranium_Superboy) takes place.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

  * For [njw](https://archiveofourown.org/users/njw/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Where's My Goddamn Dinosaur?](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13625043) by [njw](https://archiveofourown.org/users/njw/pseuds/njw). 
  * Inspired by [Love's Like a Batarang](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15432891) by [njw](https://archiveofourown.org/users/njw/pseuds/njw). 
  * Inspired by [Superboys -Original](https://archiveofourown.org/works/18563881) by [AdamantVibranium_SuperBoy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AdamantVibranium_SuperBoy/pseuds/AdamantVibranium_SuperBoy). 
  * Inspired by [The Growth of Hemlock](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13255494) by [TheQueenyGospels](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheQueenyGospels/pseuds/TheQueenyGospels). 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Big thanks to njw for letting me use their characters and helping me with putting this together.

***

 

It's been a great day. Other Tim gives Red Hood and Red Robin a hug as they prepare for the upcoming portal. Timmy gets in on a group hug with his alternate selves, and Other Tim is so glad they can have this. Only once in a while do they ever plan a meeting like this, visiting Bryce Wayne's Batcave and world so the five of them can spend time face to face. They went to the movies for a morning matinee, went to the Gotham Zoo with their host's family, had dinner together at a fancy restaurant and even went out an early evening patrol with the Jason and Tim native to this universe.

Patrolling with two Cats was fun and took some getting used to. They sure get up to trouble between busts, and though they never stole anything, they did a bit more infiltration than was strictly necessary. Trust one of Selina's protéges to test out museum security for the fun of it. Getting them out of that museum took a lot out of the others. Cat-Jason found the café and left more money than was strictly necessary at the till while he fixed up some chili dogs, prompting Jayhawk and Red Hood to join him for the after-dinner snack. As Other Tim tried to get them to leave, all three Jason's in unison said, "Not until after dessert."

Meanwhile Robin (Timmy) and Red Robin (Original Tim) were trying to get Stray (host-Tim) to stop looking at paintings in night-vision and critiquing them. Instead of drawing him away, they were being drawn into debates about Impressionism and Dadaism. Stray finally let Robin use his night vision goggles to look at a Salvador Dalí painting, and Robin went back and forth between Stray's goggles and the night-vision in his Robin domino mask. He gets to telling Red Robin he needs to try it out and see what he thinks about it. 

They spend another hour looking at paintings and arguing over night-vision, eventually coming to the conclusion that they each need multiversal phones so they can trade night-vision schematics and settings and come up with the best combination of their existing ones by working together on the designs. Then the Jasons and Other Tim approach and Cat-Jason says he always wanted night-vision contacts, so they should create something that has multiple settings that can be adjusted but fits on the inside of a contact lens. Of course, Cat-Jason and Stray-Tim think the contacts should look like cat eyes and the others think an intimidating solid white is best. By the time they finally leave the museum, acquire multiversal phones for all parties and get back to the Batcave, it's nearly midnight. Put in hugs, goodbyes and an impromptu snack before more hugs and goodbyes and it's nearly one o'clock when Timmy almost steps through the wrong portal. 

Red Hood pulls him back by his cape and says, "Not yet, Tiny Timbers. You can't go to that universe." Timmy lets out an 'Eep!', realizing he could have destabilized his universe by traveling to Other Tim's original timeline where Red Hood and Red Robin are from. They say their final goodbyes just as Damian and Star Sapphire Dick come downstairs to see everyone off.

"Confound your sparkling buttocks, Grayson! I told you we would be late!"

"Sorry, Dami, but when ice cream calls, you don't say no!" Star Sapphire Dick turns to Cat-Jason and sparkles his way over to kiss and grope at his darling boyfriend. "How's my sugar plum doing?"

"I'm doing fuckin' purr-fect, Sweets! I can't believe the fuckin' day we've had. We really fuckin' need to have our counterparts here way more fuckin' often."

"Are you of the same mind, Beloved?" Damian asks Stray. 

"I think so, Dami. It was off the hook tonight! Stimulating conversation, fun patrol, museum shenanigans… Jason's right, I miss these guys already."

"We fuckin' miss you too, Tim," Jayhawk says, giving him a friendly punch on the arm. Damian poises himself protectively, about to take vengeance if Stray-Tim should but utter a sound of the most miniscule pain, but Stray-Tim pulls Damian into a kiss until Damian smiles against his mouth. 

"We need to wait another hour before opening the next portal," says the remaining Red Robin. What do you guys want to do while we wait?"

Star Sapphire Dick almost convinces everyone for a game of strip poker, but Robin convinces him it's unfair, since to his knowledge, he's the only one who doesn't like guys like that. He's also the only one there without his partner, though with how much fun he's had over the past day and night, he hopes to bring Steph with him next time. 

They settle in to watch part of _The Princess Bride_ which never gets old to them, and they have Alfreida-cookies while they watch. By the time the priest says _'Mawwiage is what we are here for today'_ Other Tim feels like they should get moving back to their own universe. The moment Fezzik introduces the four white horses, Other Tim starts gathering Timmy and his Jay to go down to the cave. The seven of them go to the Batcave and Stray starts the multiversal portal projector on the Batcomputer up.

"It's going to take a minute to find the right universe. We have a short while to say our goodbyes," says Stray-Tim.

"Before I forget," says Star Sapphire Dick, "this batarang is for you, Red Robin. It's enchanted to reach through the multiverse and take you to your heart's truest desire. It's enchanted by Zatanna and the Star Sapphire ring."

"Is that why it's fuckin' periwinkle-fuscia?" asks Jayhawk.

"No, that was just the only batarang I had lying around at the time. Anyways, it's in case you ever lose your Jason or little Timmy here. That way, you'll always have a way to find them."

"Thanks, Dickie," says Other Tim. "It means a lot," he says and he pulls Star Sapphire Dick into a tight hug.

The Tims get a group hug next and the Jasons take pictures with their multiversal phones. Then, the Jasons are hugging next to Other Tim and Timmy when a portal opens up right next to them, and they are sucked into it just as Star Sapphire Dick screams "JASON!! NO!!!" and dives after him. 

The portal closes behind Dick, and Stray-Tim face-palms.

"This is going to be just like last time they got sucked through a portal, isn't it?" says Damian.

"Probably," says Tim.

 

***

  


  



	2. Brave New World

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The heroes fell through a portal and now find themselves in unfamiliar surroundings.

***

Dick screams after Jason hoping to find his nearly lost love. He grabs a boot while they're still between worlds and holds on tight. Once they're out in the open air, Dick hugs the body close to him and screams, "Oh, thank God!! I thought I'd lost you!"

"...crushing me… need to breathe…"

Dick pulls back, about to kiss his beloved boyfriend when he stops himself an inch away. "Dickie! Eww!" screams Timmy.

"Oh shit, I'm sorry Timmy! I thought you were Jay! Really, terribly sorry!"

"Jeeze, he's got like a hundred and twenty pounds on me and a foot in height. The cape should've been a dead giveaway, if nothing else."

"Where is everybody?" asks Dick. They look around. They're in Crime Alley in the not-so-nice part of town and though everything from the smoggy smell to the buildings around them screams _Gotham!_ , they don't see the other multiversal travellers with them. They take a while looking around, and Dick picks up Tim to fly them around the buildings to see if the others landed a street over or up on one of the rooves.

"I can't believe your princess carrying me!" says Timmy. "If anyone should be the 'princess' in this equation, it should be _you_."

"This is just faster, Timmy," says Dick. "When you can fly and I can't, then you can princess carry me."

"Darn tootin'!" says Timmy, though he's more anxious to find the others than he is to carry Dick around. He doesn't like what that anxiety is doing to him. He feels really on edge.

"I don't see them anywhere. Do you, Babybird?" asks Dick. He glows a little brighter in case they can see him and hopes they'll notice him flying above him.

"No, I don't," says Timmy. "Maybe we should go back to the Batcave."

"Use your comms! Now that we're in your universe, your comms should work. We can try out multiversal phones after that."

"Great idea, Dickie. Let's head towards the Batcave and swing back around if we find out they're somewhere else."

The night sky is beautiful from this high up, and it almost seems like the smog cloud over Gotham isn't as thick.

"Robin to Red Robin, come in Red Robin!" Nothing but static comes back to him. "Robin to Red Robin! Robin to Jayhawk! Do you read?" Again nothing but static. He tries switching between other secure channels, but every one of them is nothing but static. He switches back to his original channel, the one he last successfully contacted them on when they were back home and sighs. "I think our comms must have broken in the portal."

"No worries, Babybird. We'll just text them when we get to the cave."

They pass the rest of the trip in relative silence, aside from Dick's squeal of delight when the manor comes into view, and make it to the Batcave soon after Tim gives up on the comms.

When Tim tries to login to the Batcave, it doesn't work immediately, and a scanner scans his body with a horizontal line laser, subsequently saying, "Not recognized," in a feminine robotic voice.

"What the hell? What was that scanner?"

"Don't worry Babybird, I got this." Dick enters his keycode, and the scanner scans him.

"Not recognized."

"Waynetech override, RG4," says Dick.

"Recognized: Robin – B-01."

"That's my codename," complains Timmy as they enter.

"Yeah, but I used to be Robin, too. There was probably a computer virus that caused multiple system restores. That's the only way it would say I'm Robin and not recognize you at all."

"It didn't recognize you either, at first," says Timmy. "Where'd you get the override code?"

"I've had it since I was twelve."

When they enter the Batcave proper, everything is different. The computers are much more high tech, the Batmobile is sleeker and more aerodynamic and there's a large zeta-beam platform next to a zeta tube.

"Wow, the Batcave of your universe is incredible!" says Dick. "I've got to take pictures for B. I bet Man-B is going to be super happy to see me—"

"—This isn't my Batcave."

"— I know he's thrilled whenever we— What? What do you mean this isn't your Batcave?"

"There's not a zeta-tube in our Batcave. And the Batmobile looks different."

Realization suddenly dawns on Dick. "NO! We're in the wrong universe! _JASON!!!_ " As he calls Jason's name, all of his love pours out in his voice, his urgency, his will and his desperation. It's magnified and projected by his violet lantern ring and a surge goes out, reaching for Jason, even across universes. But he's done this before and just as his love for Jason grows with each passing day, the love poured into his desperate cry is that much stronger.

It finds Jason sooner than he thought.

"Motherfuckin' WHAT?!" yells Jason from behind them. Upon the connection being established, the ring's projection backfires and overloads in a cascading cycle until a huge blast of violet-sapphire energy erupts from the ring and flows outward, even through the walls of the Batcave.

"Schmoopsikins!" Dick screams as he jumps into Cat-Jason's waiting arms. "I was so worried about yo—" Jason captures his lips in his own, swallowing Dicks words and they begin to moan hotly and grab and grope each other until they're on the ground. "I thought I'd lost you!" says a breathless Dick.

"I'm right here, babydoll! You fuckin' did it _again!_ Let's get these uniforms off and fuckin' get to it!"

They start to writhe on each other and Cat-Jason gently scratches his claws across Dick's exposed back, not hard enough to draw blood, but hard enough to leave marks, caressing it with his palms immediately after while Dick shudders and moans.

Timmy is speechless. It's like a devastating trainwreck. It's so awful and tragic, but he can't look away while it's happening. He shudders in creeped-out denial and whimpers, finally turning away as Dicks sparkly uniform and tiara hit the floor. He misses Steph and wishes she were here to cuddle or at least to save him from this alterna-incestuous nightmare. He crawls behind the Batcomputer and tries to plug his ears and hum to fend off the moans he can't unhear.

 

***

 

Red Robin wakes up in an alley on the wrong side of the tracks in Gotham. It's still nighttime and he doesn't know how long he was out for. He tries to use the comms and can't hail any of his teammates. All he gets is static, but it's a static he recognizes. It's the same static that happened when he tried to use his comms in Bryce's universe. _Well, I guess the portal didn't work_ , he thinks to himself.

He begins to search on foot, looking around first and then shouting 'Jayhawk! Robin!'. He can't find Jay, nor Timmy, anywhere. He pulls out his enchanted batarang. _It's supposed to take me to Jay. Here goes nothing. ...But if I'm in the same universe as before, there may be more than one Jason_.

He holds the batarang tightly in his gloves hand and says out loud. "Take me to Jason Todd," then, as an afterthought, "but not Cat-boy Jason!" There's a flash of sparkly lavender light and suddenly he's in a large bedroom, like he's in a mansion. Wayne Manor, he thinks. Then he turns to see two occupants of a very large bed. There's a boy his age, and he recognizes the scars on his back immediately. Jason! No!

Jason is naked and impaled on a very large dick, riding like a champ and calling out, "Daddy! God, you're so thick, Daddy!"

"Who's my good boy?" says an eerily familiar tenor voice.

"I AM! _I'm_ your good boy! I'll be so good, Daddy! I love you!"

Tim nearly wretches, but a flash of violet-sapphire light washes over the room for a split second and he calls out, "JASON, NO! _I LOVE YOU!!_ "

It takes a long second for the two men to look at him, Jason still impaled and looking over his shoulder as the man he's on top of bends up on an elbow to look over Jason's side.

And Tim can't believe it because That's fucking _Lex Luthor!_ Immediately Tim feels relief and agony. Clearly Jason is being manipulated, coerced or mind controlled, and it's not his fault, and _Oh my God! That means Luthor is RAPING him!!_

In a heartbeat, Tim extends his bo-staff and lunges for Luthor, but Jason is fast and pins Tim to the ground with strength he didn't know Jason had.

"Jason, it's me! Snap out of it, you're being _mind-controlled_!!"

Luthor fucking laughs. He laughs and laughs while Jason wrestles Tim over until he's belly-down on the ground, with naked Jason locking his wrists behind him with one strong unyielding hand and pushing Tim so hard against the ground that it's downright _painful_.

"My dear boy, whatever you're doing here, certainly you know better than to piss off a copulating Kryptonian," Luthor says in a seductive tenor. _Wait Kryptonian?!_ thinks Tim, _is he referring to himself or Jason? Neither are Kryptonian. Is there someone else in the room?_ Luthor continues, "What ever makes you think he's mind-controlled?"

"He's calling you _Daddy_!! That's proof enough!"

Jason recognizes the voice. When he listens more closely, he can recognize the _heartbeat_! He pulls back the cowl of the intruder and rips the domino mask from his face.

"Timmy?," says Jason, "What are you doing here? Why are you acting all crazy?"

"I'm acting crazy?!!"

"Yeah, you are. Was it that flash of light? Did you teleport and lose your mind?"

"I haven't lost my mind! Please Jason remember. I'm your Prettyboy, the love of your life!"

"This is starting to be far more intriguing," says Luthor. "Jason, have you noticed Timothy has aged a couple of years? He seems shorter, but all around his face is more stressed and slightly fuller. What do you think Jason? Is this twink your _Prettyboy_?"

"Maybe it's time travel?" says Jason. "Your right though, he is a couple of inches shorter and his neck isn't quite as scrawny. If I let you up, do you promise not to attack again?"

"I make no promises! That bastard is _raping_ you, and I will protect you with my life!"

"Okay, that's enough out of you," says Jason as he navigates Tim's utility bandoliers effortlessly and ties him up with his own inertrite cables, binding his hands behind his back, binding his feet and tying the bonds together behind him. Next, he pulls an abandoned sock from next to the bed and stuffs it in Tim's mouth before using the other sock to tie it tightly around his face. "I want those fucking socks off your fucking face in less than a minute. I'm timing you Babybird."

"Well, that was anticlimactic," says Luthor. "I suppose we'll need to call the League or the Bat and find out what his protége is up to."

"He's _my_ fucking protége, and don't you fucking forget it! ...But yeah, finding out if there's something wrong with Bruce is good too. Maybe he's been affected by the same toxin or spell that's making Tim act all fucking nuts."

"Indeed," says Luthor.

"Time!" yells Tim.

"Twenty-two seconds Babybird! New record! You can be untied when you start making sense. Now that you can talk, I'd start making sense _right fucking now_ if I were you."

"I must be in an alternate universe. There's no way my Jay would do anything with a man more than twice his age, much less _Lex-Fucking-Luthor!_ "

"Sounds plausible. So does a poorly prepared shapeshifter, pod person, mind-control or evil clone. Gotta say, I don't dig the new threads. Or reinforced rubber. Whatever it is you've got going on there."

"This isn't new! I've had this costume since before we met."

"No, here, you've had the same utility belt and crossed bandoliers since before I met you, but you've never worn a fucking cowl or a cape that nerdy. Seriously, it's like you're trying to imitate the Bat but couldn't pull it off. The Redwing I know has his own style and he owns it."

"My name is Red Robin. I've never heard of Redwing."

"As fascinating as all of this is, I was _quite_ busy when you interrupted," Luthor says. To Jason, he says, "My dear, would you take this troublemaker to the living room and have one of the boys look after him? We have business to attend to."

"Sure, Daddy. I think the Roys are here." Jason picks up Red Robin, leaving the cowl and domino mask behind.

"You're leaving the room like that?! You're going to talk to the Roys while naked and dripping with lube?" says Luthor.

"Why not? This is my place too."

"You insufferable tease. I discourage that greatly. You're dick is not children-appropriate."

"They'll live."

"At least wear a towel. You said you'd be _so_ good."

Jason groans, setting Tim back down on the floor. "Yes, Daddy."

Jason disappears to the en suite bathroom for a moment and returns with a towel wrapped around his waist. He picks up a silent Tim and takes him to the living room where he sets him gently on the couch. "Hang tight, Timmy. I'll go get your babysitters." He goes down the hall to Red Arrow's bedroom where he and Arsenal are playing together naked. "Clothes on, game faces on. You have to babysit a possible android/evil clone/pod person/shapeshifter/mind-controlled Tim."

The Roys stare at him like he's grown a second head. "Now, Roys! Don't keep me waiting. I don't want this freak to be unsupervised. As his peers, you may be able to get more out of him than I can. Don't let me down."

At that, the Roys start begrudgingly putting on night clothes, Arsenal preferring his House Luthor solar suit with the glyph in black. Red Arrow puts on loose fitting pajama pants and nothing else, but he grabs a utility bandolier with throwing knives and shurikens, just in case. They quickly make it to the living room to find a struggling Tim trying to get comfortable on the couch.

"Hi Redwing," says Arsenal. "Get into trouble?"

"I'm not Redwing, I'm Red Robin."

"Definitely an evil clone," says Arsenal.

They hear Jason down the hall open the door to Luthor's bedroom and say, "I'm back, Daddy! I've been a good boy! Do I get a reward?" They fortunately don't hear Luthor's response as the soundproof door closes behind Jason. Red Arrow is particularly happy about the soundproofing. He thinks back to the night before he met Jason when they had a ten-hour sex marathon that could be heard everywhere in the penthouse. At least he never has to worry about that again.

As soon as they get Red Robin situated on the couch and offer him orange juice, holding it to his face so he can drink it through a straw, Kal-El appears on the balcony and rushes inside.

"Is Lex okay?!" He asks, a bit louder than he meant to.

"Dad's fine," says Arsenal. "Go check on him in his room if you want. Jason's there with him." When Arsenal called Lex Luthor 'Dad', Tim's eyebrows shot up. He'd been able to subdue his surprise that there were two of them, but now they're apparently Lex Luthor's _sons_?!

"Oh good," says Kal-El. "I'll be staying the night, so I'll see you guys in the morning."

Kal-El disappears down the hall and speeds into Luthor's bedroom.

" _What the hell kind of universe is this?_ " asks Tim.

 

***

 

Jayhawk wakes up in an alley in Gotham. _At least I'm in a good neighborhood and didn't get my fuckin' throat slit in my sleep_ , he thinks. It's almost dawn, and he thinks of nothing but finding Tim. He feels not an urge, but an absolute need to be with his Tim and give him love and affection. 

He starts by trying their comms to contact the two Robins, and when that fails, he begins searching the area, calling out "Robin! Red Robin! Where the fuck are you guys?!"

A soda can hits him in the head from above as a man shouts his disgruntlement at being woken up this early by a screaming vigilante. Fortunately, the soda can was empty, so he didn't get covered in sugary beverage, and with air resistance, it didn't hurt at all. At that distance, Jayhawk is surprised it hit its mark. He doesn't stop screaming their names, but he does move away from the man's window. Eventually he decides to text Red Robin on his multiversal phone to make sure he's okay. He doesn't get an answer, so he assumes that either Tim dropped his phone or for some reason, can't hear the alert tone. Probably the latter. Jayhawk stops screaming their names after that, certain he'll get a reply text soon. He doesn't stop looking though and soon he sees what looks like Red Robin in the distance.

He quickly grapples after the red and black figure. There's no cowl on him, but that gives Jayhawk a clear view of his masked face. It definitely looks like Tim.

"Hey, Red! Wait up!" calls Jayhawk. 

Tim stops and turns to face him more directly and they meet on a roof between them. Jayhawk runs at him, and though Tim is almost ready to pull his bo-staff, for some reason he doesn't, and he sees that his mentor is running at him wearing a new costume and mask. He's seen Jason's face behind a domino enough times to know this is him. Suddenly, Jay is kissing him and holding him tight and Tim can't help but kiss him back. He's wanted this from the first time Red Hood kidnapped him and now he has it. They make out for a minute or two until they part. 

"I was so worried about you!" says Jason. "I couldn't hail you on the comms. Are you okay?"

"I'm doing fantastic now! I never thought we'd be doing this?"

"What? Kissing? We kiss every day Prettyboy."

"You sound different. And that was our first kiss. And you've never called me 'Prettyboy' before."

"Holy shit! You're the wrong Tim! I'm so sorry! We must've gotten separated in the multiverse somehow! I —"

Jason's words get cut off as Tim kisses him again. Jay has to admit that this Tim is a phenomenal kisser. He lacks the familiarity that Jay has with his Tim, but he makes up for it in talented fervor. 

Jay pulls back. "Hey, not that I don't like kissing you, but I'm kinda taken. Do you think you could help me find my Tim?"

Tim looks disappointed. "Yeah, I guess. But if you have room for two Tims, I don't mind being second-best." _Harem of Tims?_ Jay's mind supplies.

Jay can't tell if what Tim just said is really unhealthy or just very laid back. Either way, he still wants to kiss Tim. Any Tim, but especially the man he was getting ready to propose to. Almost-fiancé-Tim comes first. On the other hand, Jason can't help but remember Red's visit to his universe and Dick's joke about a harem of Tims. He'd meant it when he said he wasn't completely opposed to starting a harem, at least as long as they're Tim. 

"We have to ask my Tim first, but uh, maybe?" says Jay.

"Good enough for me," says Tim. "You know, Valentine's Day is next week. Maybe we could go on a triple date?"

"Fuck, Prettyboy, I don't know if we'll be here that long. I don't even know if my Tim is still in the same universe.

"We can figure something out. Do you want to head back to the Batcave? I take it from your apparel that you're one of us in your universe. My Jason's a Bat, too."

"Yeah, maybe we can get some answers that way. Let's go."

 

***

  


  



	3. Getting To Know One Another

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dick wakes up to a surprise in the Batcave. Jason searches for Tim and finds _a_ Tim. Meanwhile Red Robin plots his escape from the LexCorp Towers penthouse.

***

Dick wakes up happy. He feels the urge to take Wally in his arms and hold him forever. He almost immediately decides that this is the day to profess his love. He gets dressed and heads to the Batcave, texting Wally to meet him at Mount Justice today and grabbing a scone from the kitchen. When he gets to the cave, he sees and unholy sight. A man that looks a little like _him_ is tied up with a bullwhip on his knees and sucking Jason Todd's dick. Dick almost runs back upstairs, but he needs to change into Robin, so he has to use the Batcave. He notices a set of black and red clothes on the ground and a set of lavender-pink clothes and boots next to the couple. _Please tell me the pink bikini isn't Jason's!_ Dick thinks.  
  
"Get a room, Jason!!" Dick cries out.

"But we're in a room!" yells back the man on his knees. His voice sounds eerily familiar, almost like Dick's dad's voice before the accident. But more feminine. Dick is really freaked out by it. He can't help but wonder.

"Fuckin' chill out little dude," says Jason.

"What's your name?" Dick says trepidatiously to the man on his knees.

"Dick Grayson. Who are you? Did Man-B adopt _another_ kid? He treats you guys like Pokémon: gotta collect them all!"

"There's only three of us! And did I hear you correct? Dick Grayson?!"

"That's me, hun! What do you need?"

"I need to Clorox my brain." The thought of another Dick means that that might be a different Jason. Jason's never called him "little dude" before. He gags at the thought that this is time travel. _Am I Jason's future bitch? In PINK?!!_ Dick quickly runs to lockdown the cave, pushing the emergency lockdown buttons that will only let authorized members in or out of the cave. There will only be a fifteen minute window before the cave locks down completely. 

It's at that moment that Dick hears a hoarse humming sound in the cave. Jason and Other Dick go back to their traumatizing activities, and Dick looks for the humming sound, finding another Robin huddled behind the Batcomputer flushed red and a few tears running down his face. 

"Are you okay?" Dick asks.

"I'll never be okay again! Those buttheads have no shame!"

"It's gonna be okay," says Dick. "Come with me and we'll get you out of here." Dick goes to change into his Robin uniform quickly and takes the other Robin's hand to the zeta-beam platform to head to Mount Justice. "What's your name?"

"Robin."

"Do you have another name?"

"I'm Timmy."

"I'm Dick. But you have to call me Robin where we're going. Understand?"

Timmy rubs his eyes and nods. 

"Okay, let's go. I'm authorizing you as a guest for the zeta system." 

Soon, the scanner over the zeta beam platform scans Timmy just like the one outside the Batcave did, and a feminine voice says, "Entered, new ID: Robin 2 – B-13."

"Okay, you can come with me now," says Dick, ignoring the slurping and moaning from further into the Batcave. They step onto the platform together and start to walk slowly.

"Recognized, Robin – B-01. Recognized, Robin 2 – B-13."

When they come through the other side, they're in another cave. One where Jason and the other Dick _aren't_.

Dick brings Timmy to the kitchen where Miss Martian is baking a cake.

"Hey, Miss M? Do you have any cookies lying around? I've got a traumatized Robin that could probably use some comfort food."

"Oh, of course," says M'gann. She retrieves some cookies from the fridge and fills a plate with them, passing the plate to Timmy and saying, "Hello, Robin. I'm M'gann M'orzz, but you can call me Megan."

"Hi Megan," says Timmy. "Thank you for the cookies."

"Of course. You're welcome to anything in the kitchen. Would you like a glass of milk?"

"Yes, please," says Timmy. M'gann gets him a glass of milk and sits with him at the kitchen's island. As Timmy starts to eat, Dick rubs circles in his back and shushes with a brotherly affection that Timmy is surprised and comforted to hear.

"It's okay, buddy. We'll get through this."

 

***

 

When Redwing and Jayhawk get to the Batcave, it's completely locked down. No way in or out. They try the system a few times to get in but it's the same every time: a feminine robotic voice saying, "This facility is currently in lockdown. Access denied."

"You have any other ideas Red Robin?"

"Robin? It's Redwing. I can think of another place to find the answers we need, or at least get a good start. My inertrite wings are in the cave under repairs though, so we can't fly there right now. I can take us to a zeta-tube and we can get there that way." They start walking from the cave entrance towards the nearest zeta-beam platform, a phone booth a couple dozen blocks away.

"No way! You can fly?! That's so awesome!"

"Yeah, it really is. Maybe we can outfit you with wings and a jetpack before you go home. I love tinkering, and I've got twelve sets of extra wings. I just need to paint them."

"Really?! That's be the best souvenir ever!"

"Yeah, I can work on that when the cave isn't in lockdown. Let's head for the zeta-tube and you can tell me all about Red Robin."

"Well, at first, he was from another universe – an alternate future – but he used a doomsday reset device that made a clone of him and sent him back in time. He got sent to the day I died in his universe, but he got to me just in time to save me in mine."

"You never died?! That's a big difference right there. My Jason died twice."

"What?! Exactly how many universes did I die in?!"

"Theoretically, there are only 52 known universes, but with infinite variations. That means there are an infinite number of universes you died in and an infinite number of universes you didn't die in."

"The multiverse is fuckin' weird."

"Tell me about it. So after your Tim saved you, what happened? Was there already a Tim in your universe?"

"Yeah, we call him Timmy. He's Robin. I'm Jayhawk. My Tim is Red Robin. And Dick is Nightwing."

"Huh. In this universe, Dick is Robin. I'm Redwing and Jason is Red Hood."

"I've met a Red Hood. Could totally get into the fuckin' self-cest thing. He's hot as a motherfucker. Thighs like nothin' else! I wish I was that muscled."

"His thighs are glorious… so you've been around the multiverse a bit?"

"Yeah, met a Dick that was a Star Sapphire. Just said bye to him before I found you actually."

"I can't tell if that's really creepy or really funny. I can't imagine any Dick in a lavender bikini. My Dick just turned fourteen."

"What? You get a fuckin' cloned transplant or something?" Jay says humorously.

"Ha. Ha. No, I mean Robin just turned fourteen."

"Well, at least it's not likely he'll be a Star Sapphire. At least as long as you keep him away from the Green Lanterns."

"I've got a Green Lantern on my team. Kyle. You know him?"

"I've only met Hal in passing. I'm not too experienced with the Lantern Corps. So you're on a team. What kind of team?"

"We call ourselves the Titans. We are a superhuman emergency response team. I'm the only one without any powers, but I manage okay on my own. I'm taking you to our base now so we can use the computer systems there. It's like a combination of the Batcave and the Fortress of Solitude."

"That sounds really badass. The team and the base, I mean."

"We call it the Fortress of Metropolis. It's in the bay between Gotham and Metropolis."

"Underwater or floating?"

"It's not floating. The Kryptonian crystals are embedded into the bedrock and the fortress has lower levels under the water, but most of what we use on a daily basis is above the surface."

"Pretty sweet. I've never been inside a Kryptonian Fortress before. Even after B got hitched to Superman."

"They're together in your universe? That just seems weird to me. My Jason is in a complex poly/love triangle with Luthor and Kal-El, so the idea of Superman being with our adopted dad just seems weird."

" _Lex fuckin' Luthor?!!_ You're kidding! Please tell me you're fuckin' kidding!"

"No, I'm not. I guess you're with Other-Me, but Luthor's attractive if you like older guys. I can see how he ended up with two beaux even if he's not my cup of tea."

"Oh God! You're not fuckin' kidding! What is _wrong_ with him?! Why Luthor?!"

"I don't know how they met or anything, but they have a fetish thing going on that I don't quite understand. Jason calls him 'Daddy' a lot."

"I am gonna pretend I didn't fuckin' hear that. I don't think I could fuckin' function today if I managed to fuckin' wrap my mind around _that_."

"Relax, it's no big deal. They've been together since before I met Jason. Why do you think I like _you_ so much? I've always had a thing for him, but to me, Jason has always been untouchable."

"He still fuckin' cares about you though, right?"

"Yeah. I'm his sidekick, his protége, of course he cares about me. He lost it the time I nearly died."

"So you might want to come to my universe? At least for a visit to see if you like it?"

"Who's going to give you flying lessons if I don't. Plus, if Jason comes with us, he can make sure you don't crash."

"How do you fuckin' figure that?"

"He can fly and he's got super-strength and -speed."

"No way! Other-Me can fly?! No jetpack?"

"No jetpack. He has Kryptonian powers. He passes it off as just being a meta, but I've been able to catalogue all of his abilities through observation. Definitely Kryptonian."

"I'm jealous. Except for the whole Luthor thing. That's creepy as hell. Like a twisted game of Million Dollars But."

That makes Tim laugh. "I suppose so. If you decide to stay in this universe, I'm all yours. No Luthor."

Jason bites his lip. "I really like you. Maybe after we find my Tim we can all get a motel room together."

"I'd really like that," says Tim. He gives Jason a peck on the cheek and Jason blushes.

"Two of you… damn, that'd be fuckin' awesome."

They walk in silence for a couple of blocks.

"Wait here for a second," says Tim. He runs into a bodega and comes out a couple of minutes later with two red rose bouquets and two heart-shaped boxes of chocolate. "These are for you and Other Tim. I'll hold on to Tim's until we find him, but you can start eating your chocolates now."

Jayhawk tucks the bouquet into his belt and opens the box of chocolates. "Come here, Prettyboy. This one's for you," Jay says, holding a chocolate at mouth level. Tim starts to take it with his hand, but Jayhawk says, "Nuh-uh. Open up." Tim opens his mouth and Jayhawk seductively places the chocolate on his tongue. Tim eats the chocolate as Jayhawk smiles at him. "Damn, Sweetcheeks. I'm gonna take you home with me. Red Robin will love you and I know I will, too. Damn, it's hard not to kiss you right now."

"You really think he'll be cool with it?"

"Won't know until we ask him, but I have a feeling he'll like you. I'll send him a text. The phone's multiversal, so he'll get the text even if he's in another universe."

"Cool. I need to get one of those. Even if I don't go home with you, at least if we could talk like that it'd be cool. We could sext a couple times a week, and I wouldn't cheat on you guys."

"I think technically, I'm the cheater. I kissed you, remember."

"You thought I was him. If he's me, I think he'll understand."

"How close are we to this zeta beam thingy?"

"We're a couple of blocks away. Mostly there now."

"Wanna grapple there? I'm anxious to find him."

"Sure, you want to text him first?"

"Yeah, hold the chocolates for me. I'm going to take a picture of you with the roses and chocolates." Tim poses with a charming smile and Jay takes the picture, sending it to his Tim with a text. "Okay, cool. Put your arms around me and hold on tight."

They grapple together the rest of the way to the zeta beam platform and Tim puts the codes in for them at the payphone.

A feminine robotic voice says, "Recognized: Red Hood – D-01. Recognized: Redwing D-07."

 

***

 

Tim doesn't know how the Roys got him to agree to strip poker. At first it was because they would have to untie him. Roy – Red Arrow – ripped the intertrite cord like it was a plastic bag and Tim was free. But now he was losing. Or at least tied. He assumed that since he was fully clothed in his vigilante gear and they were wearing one or two garments a piece, that he would easily win. But they're playing super-loser which means only the last-place loses clothing and Red Arrow is only down by one bandolier, and Arsenal is down by his socks and houseshoes. Tim is down by everything but his boxers and his socks. If he's lucky, he'll only have to take off one sock at a time. He really feels like this is a waste of time, but each time he's tried to escape was like trying to escape a Kryptonian. Literally. The Roys were super fast and now, his ankles are circled together in inertrite cords and tied loosely to the coffee table. It's not that escaping is impossible, but he wants to wait and use his enchanted batarang when he's fully clothed and no one else is in the room. 

Tim's multiversal phone chimes. It's Jayhawk and he's sent a photo of who Tim only assumes is the Tim from this universe holding roses and chocolates. The text says: _'Redwing bought us both flowers and chocolates and I want to take him home with us. He's real sweet and I know you'll like him. I want to tag team his ass with you. Also, where the fuck are you?'_

"Hang on guys, play without me for a hand. I've got to answer this." ' _Jay, where are you? I'm being held prisoner by Kryptonians at LexCorp Towers because they think I'm a pod person. He's cute, btw. Maybe we can go on a date with him first and tag team him later. Gtg. I'll try to meet you later when I can. I still have my batarang of love.'_

By the time Tim finishes typing out his message, Arsenal is dealing again and Red Arrow is sitting there completely naked. Tim can't help but notice how _gifted_ Red Arrow is. _Holy shit! That's almost as big as Luthor's! Oh God, I have to Clorox my brain again. Maybe Martian Manhunter will erase the memory for me._

"He's a total babe, isn't he," says Arsenal. "See why I can't resist him?"

"If you're both genetically identical, does that mean you're also…"

"Hung like a horse?" says Arsenal. "Nah, he's a little older. I'll get there though. You're lucky we're not playing for sexual favors. We almost were since you interrupted our together-time."

"Thanks for that," says Tim, unable to look away.

"You wanna touch it? You're staring," says Red Arrow. 

"That's okay. I've got a boyfriend. Maybe two soon."

"Triad relationship? Cool."

"The other guy… he's me."

"Oh yeah? Guess I can't judge, I fell in love with my clone," says Arsenal.

"He's the clone? How is he older than you?"

"Artificial aging."

"Oh. That makes sense." Tim eyes his enchanted batarang among his discarded clothes. Red Arrow follows his gaze and gives him a look.

"No throwing projectiles in the house, Not-Redwing. I'll have to take these," says Red Arrow and he begins picking up Tim's gear. 

"No! What am I gonna wear? At least leave the purple batarang! It's sentimental!"

"Arsenal, put this batarang in the safe," says Red Arrow. "And get him some of your extra sweats. I'm going to store his gear somewhere safe." They go to complete their separate tasks and Red Arrow returns and puts on his pajama pants. "That's probably enough poker for this morning. I can tell you're uncomfortable. Even if you _are_ really interested."

"What?! Am not!" says Tim blushing hard.

"You couldn't take your eyes off it. It's obvious that you like dick, furthermore, that you like _my_ dick. It's okay. I'm not offended. If I wasn't happy with my clonecestuous relationship, I might give you a ride."

"Oh, God," says Tim. "I've just seen way too much dick tonight and I really want my boyfriend's instead."

"That's right, you walked in on Dad and Jay getting it on. That's definitely too much dick. By volume at least."

"Oh God! Why do you know what your dad's dick looks like?!"

"I don't, but Jay likes to brag," says Red Arrow. Just after that, Arsenal returns with extra sweats. 

"Here you go, Timmy. Put those on to cover your shame."

"I've got nothing to be ashamed of."

"Care to play more poker and prove it?"

"Babe, let's not. He's uncomfortable. You remember our talk about respecting people's boundaries, right?"

"Yeah, yeah. So if you really are an alternate Tim, that means you need coffee. Like 24/7."

"You got that right," says Tim. "Any coffee will do at this point."

"How about a quad-shot of gourmet espresso?" asks Red Arrow. "I'm getting caramel mochas for me and Arsenal, but I figure you like your coffee black right?"

"If I'm gonna have that much espresso, make it an Americano."

"You got it. Charity will be up soon, but I know how to use the espresso maker. I'll be right back."

"How about untying me?" Tim asks Arsenal Once Red Arrow is out of the room.

"Well, at the very least, we can untie you from the coffee table. How about I tie your ankle to Roy's when he gets back. I'll go ahead and adjust the cords now so it's ready when he gets here."

"Thanks. I guess that's better than nothing," Tim says, still not liking the way this is all going. He'd really hoped to be dressed and have his enchanted batarang to make his escape with, but now Arsenal is untying his ankles and retying around one of them and taking the the length of cable from the table and preparing another ankle loop from it, a slipknot for the other Roy's ankle. When Arsenal finishes that up, he helps Tim into the sweatpants, pulling the cord through the leg-hole first and keeps hold of the cord while Tim puts on the shirt. The shirt has a House Luthor glyph in faded blue on it, and Tim wonders what it is or what it means. It looks like a stretched 3 with a curve along the bottom inside a pentagon resembling a single-cut diamond. He saw the symbol on Arsenal's solar suit and wondered about it then, but now that he's wearing it, he really wants to know what it means. He knows that the 'S' shield is Superman's family crest. Does this symbol indicate more families made it off of Krypton before it exploded. Is that why the Roys are apparently Kryptonian? Or is there some technology at work here? He honestly has no clue and decides he'll ask his captors after coffee.

Red Arrow returns and begrudgingly allows Tim's ankle to be tethered to his own before handing Tim a quadruple Americano and tells Arsenal to go get his caramel mocha cappuccino from the kitchen, because he doesn't have the mobility to do that without taking Tim with him. He guides Tim to the balcony where they sip their drinks over the city in peace.

"So what's this symbol on my chest mean?" asks Tim after a minute.

"It's an Ancient Kryptonian syllabalical symbol for "Lu"," says Red Arrow. "It's the symbol for the House of Luthor." Tim makes a disgusted face. "I get that you're not a fan," says Red Arrow. "I wasn't for a very long time, but he's family and he's proven himself to be a caring and doting father to me and my brothers, time and time again. Most people don't like Luthor. A lot even think he's evil. But he's not. He's… complicated."

"And how come you have super powers?"

"Why do you think? I'm Superman's son. One of six, actually. Well, I guess technically, Jonny and I are clones of his sons and Colton's a direct clone. But the official story is that I'm the other Roy's older brother. Officially, Kal-El was pretty young when I was conceived."

"So you… in my world, you're an archer."

"I am in this one, too. A damn good archer. Doesn't mean I don't enjoy my powers."

"You use a bow and arrow when you have lasers in your face?"

"Arrows are versatile. There's frost arrows, grappling arrows, explosive arrows, high-density foam arrows, and a lot more. You can do so much more with a bow and arrow than you can with just heat vision. Not that it doesn't make jiffy-pop more fun."

"I get what your saying. Is that why you had all those throwing knives and shurikens? Because you're still a marksman?"

"Even if I wasn't an archer, learning to throw a knife is an important life skill."

"At least I know you're really Roy Harper."

"Clone."

"Whatever. Close enough. Do you know who made you?"

"Cadmus Labs. Under Luthor's direction."

"I guess he is your father in a way then."

"I try not to think about it like that. I was made to replace the original Roy, who everyone thought was dead or didn't know he was missing. The League of Shadows had him in cryostasis and they cut off his arm so they'd have an endless supply of samples of his DNA to give Cadmus. Luthor didn't believe that Roy was dead – the sample was too fresh – but he didn't do anything about it since he had no loyalty to us at the time and he had no clue where the sample came from."

"What's the League of Shadows?"

"It's a guild of assassins led by Ra's Al Ghul. Their home is Infinity Island."

"In my universe, it's called the League of Assassins. Is Ra's Al Ghul still living in this world?"

"Yeah, he's one of Dad's friends. After everything with Roy, he refuses to let any Shadows operate in Metropolis and always tries to keep us from overhearing it when he calls Ra's. He does his best to protect us. Hell, he threatened Ra's when he found out the Shadows had the original Roy Harper. I didn't know about it for a while, but Conner told me that as soon as I let it slip that the Shadows had him, he went into his office, called Ra's, ripped him a new one and had the original sent to the docks so Conner, Jason and I could rescue him."

"Wow. You're sure you can trust Luthor?"

"Absolutely. With my life. He'd die before he'd let anything happen to me."

"I never expected any Roy to say that. If you guys are the good guys, why can't you let me go?"

"Oh, we will. Just want to test you first to make sure you're not a clone, pod person, etc. before we trust you. We can probably get all that done this morning and you can go see Redwing and your boyfriend after that. 

"How do you know I want to see Redwing?"

"Well, you said you were possibly going to date another you. Unless there's three Tims here, I assume you mean him."

"Oh God! Timmy! I forgot, my little brother's out there somewhere!"

"We'll try to help you find him. Is he a clone?"

"Alternate-universe-me, but we've been living as siblings for about four years."

"Okay, I'll see if we can start the search for him. Gimme a minute to make a few calls."

 

*** 

 

Jason and Dickie are taking a much needed rest. They went eight times already and they're going to go again. But first they're going to catch their breath. A shadow comes out of nowhere and suddenly Alfred is standing over them.

"Man-Alfreida?" says Dickie. 

"Master Jason, Master Richard, would you like me to bring you some clothes? I have tea and cookies upstairs waiting for you."

Jason throws Dickie off of him unceremoniously and starts throwing on his Cat suit. When Dickie tries to pull him into a hug, Jason tells him, "Get the fuck out of my way, Dickie! I'm not missing out on Alfreida-cookies!" 

 

***

  


  



	4. Fortress, Cave and Gilded Cage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jayhawk and Redwing go to the Fortress of Metropolis. Red Robin is still stuck with the Roys. Red Hood goes to investigate Redwing's report of intruders in the Batcave.

*** 

Jayhawk and Redwing come into the Kryptonian Fortress of Metropolis though the zeta beam platform and go up the crystal stairs two levels up, which Redwing describes as the ground level. Jay can't help but think how devastating a fall down those crystal stairs would be as he climbs them with careful grace. When they get to the computer room, they come upon an unexpected sight. Three nearly-identical teenage boys are fucking each other ruthlessly on the floor with pillows and blankets, as if they're having a slumber party on the computer room floor and decided to make a night of it. Almost violently, from the looks of things. Even Redwing's never seen them that animalistically virile in their escapades. None of them have much shame with their bodies ever since the other two clones started rubbing off on Jon (metaphorically speaking).

"Damn, you fucking horndogs! Get a fucking room! You each have a large room here with soundproofing! Why would you choose this place to have an orgy."

"Threesomes don't count as orgies," Match calls out.

"Yeah," says Conner, "and we have to christen each room of the fortress. It's our patriotic duty!"

"What the actual fuck guys?! You need Kryptonian spooge everywhere in the Fortress? Don't answer that. Just tell me you didn't do it in my room."

"Well, when you say—" Jon starts, but he's quickly interrupted by Match.

"Twice!" says Match victoriously.

"We will be having a talk about that, Bat-to-Supers. For now, consider this room off limits until we're done here. You can finish christening this room later."

"Wait!" says Jayhawk. "Can I get a family photo? I'll keep it above the waist."

"Sure," says Conner.

"Definitely," says Match. "We're hot motherfuckers and we know it!"

Jon just blushes and puts a hand over his privates, nestling between his brothers for the photo.

"Yes, y'all fuckin' are!" says Jay.

"Don't encourage them," says Redwing.

Jay gets his phone ready and snaps the picture of the three nude Kryptonians, clear crystal cavern in the background. Meanwhile, Redwing is putting the flowers and chocolates for Red Robin down on a crystal table and moving to the computer console. He figures the first place to look for the other Tim is in the Batcave, so he loops the security feeds to the big crystal screen in front of them, making several squares of the different camera angles. 

What he sees makes him gag. A man who looks disturbingly like Jason is in a Cat suit and whipping the back of another man, who is greedily eating cookies from a plate in front of him, seemingly oblivious to the lashes that mark his back. Red Robin is nowhere to be seen.

"Well, I guess Red Robin's not at the Batcave," says Redwing. "I think I have to scratch my eyes out now."

"We already know he's at LexCorp Towers," says Jay. "He's probably just hanging out trying to prove he's not a pod person. If he gets out of there, he'll use the batarang of love to come straight to us."

"The what now?"

"It's a gift from Star Sapphire Dick. It teleports you to the people you love most. It's fuckin' pink. Or periwinkle-fuscia, to be exact."

"So a version of Dick Grayson is a Star Sapphire? And he gives pink batarangs as gifts? That's… how do I say this? That's insane."

"No, fuckin' duh. I'm pretty sure that was the guy getting whipped in the Batcave. Dickie and Cat-Jason have always been exhibitionists."

"I feel like this is more than I needed to know."

An alert comes up on the screen and several TV news feeds come up, detailing the bizarre love spell that seems to be making people have very public PDA, in some cases sex, and causing people to pair off in unexpected ways. Sometimes even in groups of three or four. Right now, Metropolis News Bulletin reports that rival businessmen grouped with a pair of street thugs, resulting in a cross-status orgy in the park. Eventually sixteen people were involved and were all arrested. The news station begs people to stay inside their homes and asks the question: what is the Justice League doing about this?

"Holy shit! Dickie did it again!" says Jay.

"What did he do again?" asks Tim.

"He panicked and caused a love-charge thing. It's like a fuckin' aphrodisiac pulse thing but it only affects existing love. So if you want someone but you've never said anything, you'll be likely to say something about it. And if that goes well, you'll probably be kissin' or fuckin'. It's affect on existing couples means they'll seek each other out, but it likely won't be as sexually charged as it is with people who just became couples. There's some complicated explanation for it but I wasn't paying attention at the time. It was my first time seeing a Star Sapphire Dick, so I was pretty distracted."

"So he caused all this with his Violet Lantern powers? That's a little scary."

"No fuckin' joke."

"We should probably go to LexCorp and get Red Robin. I know they won't hurt him there, but the sooner, the better."

"Fuck yeah. I can't wait for you two to see each other face to face. I swear I'll probably jizz in my pants if you guys start making out."

Tim blushes. "Oh yeah? I guess I know what to do then. Hey, get a picture of us together with the crystal console."

"Great idea! I'll send that one to Tim with the one of the superboys. Oh, but first I need to text Timmy, make sure my little bro is okay."

"Sure thing."

They don't have to wait long before Timmy texts back, reporting that he's with the Young Justice team, watching a movie with Dick and Wally while the others work on the weird love phenomenon, hoping to find a way to curb it. He says Wally and Dick were affected and are currently benched because of it. Redwing sighs. "Young love," he says. "At least they're not fucking."

"Yeah, I think they're a little young for that. Thank God Timmy's okay."

"You want to text Red Robin next? I'll text Red Hood and see if we can expedite his liberation. If he knows there are more copies around, he might be more likely to believe Red Robin telling him he's from an alternate universe. Assuming he's already told them that."

"Yeah, go ahead. Let's text and then be on our way. Do you know anyone who could help with this dimensional travel thing? Help us get home once we have Tim and Timmy?"

"Yeah, I'll text Zatanna after I finish texting Jason."

"Cool."

They text in relative silence for a minute before their phones chime. "Tim says get there yesterday," says Jay.

"Red Hood says they have even more people to vet. Knowing that there's more has only given him the incentive to find them and test them for pods, cloning, etc. I told him that another version of him and another version of Dick are at the Batcave."

"Good. That'll keep him busy for a while while we jailbreak my Tim."

"Zatanna says she's too involved in resolving the love spell case to work on dimensional travel right now."

"That sucks. Maybe once Dickie talks to her they can resolve it quickly."

"Maybe."

"So what's the fastest way to LexCorp Towers?"

"We fly."

"You have your wings here?"

"No, but we have three Kryptonians with too much energy."

 

***

 

The medical imaging and DNA testing come back pretty quickly. It's less than an hour before they can rule out Red Robin being a clone, pod person, shapeshifter, android or some combination of the above. Magic and brainwashing are harder to prove and so is the possibility that this is a lookalike acting as some sort of spy. Despite all their powers, the Kryptonians are not capable of mind-reading. The Justice League is busy with their own issues off-world, so Martian Manhunter is unavailable, and the Luthors and Els don't feel comfortable asking M'gann. Trust issues aside, Lex says it would be rude. 

Despite, their fallout, Red Arrow calls Zatanna, but she's busy researching and analyzing love spells so she can figure out what's happening in Metropolis, Blüdhaven and Gotham. Apparently there was an energy pulse early this morning that caused people to pair off in the most unexpected ways. Whether it's an aphrodisiac toxin or something else remains to be seen. Zatanna thinks it's a combination of magic and science, so the idea that it could have more than one element has been bounced around as well. Without having a magic user or telepath available to help, they aren't sure how to further go about testing Red Robin to see if his claims of being from another world are true.

Thus, he is still playing cards with the Roys though he is somewhat calmer since getting a text from Timmy that he is safe and sound. He says he's with another Bat, so at least he's most likely in good hands. Tim told him to stay put and not do anything risky. He doesn't want Timmy to be traumatized over being presumed an imposter of some sort, though he is apparently much younger than this world's Tim, at least by two years. Timmy still looks younger than his age and Redwing definitely looks his. When Tim looks at him, it's different than looking in the mirror at his own face. The pictures sent so far make Redwing look a lot cuter than Tim feels, having the leanness of Tim but being ever so slightly thinner and taller. Jay seems to like him a lot, and though Tim knows he's not violating their relationship, he's jealous that Redwing is the one spending time with Tim's boyfriend in a _fucking Kryptonian Fortress!_ Not that Tim's surroundings are shabby. If anything he's in the lap of luxury, with a gourmet breakfast and pleasant company – a bird in a gilded cage.

Tim really wishes Redwing and Jayhawk would just get here already. 

 

*** 

 

Red Fang is finally done with Dickie. It's been several hours and several sessions of sex, and he's finally ready for a cat nap. Man-Alfreida just brought down some more cookies so he's relishing the afterglow of sex while munching happily and sleepily on the cookies with Dickie. 

"Man it doesn't get better than this," says Jason.

"The only way it could get any better is if there were two of you," says Dickie.

At that moment, there's a gust of wind and suddenly a version of Red Hood is standing before them. "You two are coming with me!"

"Again? I'm fuckin' sorry dude, but we're a little tapped out at the moment."

"What'd I tell you? This is much better!" says Dickie. "I'll come with you, tall dark and handsome! When we're done, you can come with Red Fang, and then the three of us together and then—"

"What is this?" asks Red Hood. "Is this a sex thing? I meant to go with me to another location."

"But there's fuckin' cookies here," says Jason.

"Can we at least get some cookies to go?" asks Dickie.

"You two are in trouble. You're coming with me so I can keep an eye on you," says Red Hood.

"If we're in trouble, does that mean we're being punished?" asks Dickie.

""Hate to tell you, other me, but I already fuckin' punished him. I, on the other hand, have been a very naughty boy!"

"Oh fuck, this _is_ a sex thing."

"One kiss, Red Hood. See if I don't fuckin' rock your world with one kiss."

"Eww, no. We're not kissing. We're going to a secure location to keep you two in custody while we run some tests."

"More secure than the Batcave?" asks Jason.

Red Hood groans. "No?"

"And we have all of the lab equipment for tests here," says Dickie. "We should just stay here with Man-Alfreida and cookies while you do your thing."

Red Hood groans again. "Fine. We'll stay here, but you two have to go in a cell until the tests come back."

"One with a mattress? I saw a cell with a bed on our way in."

"Fine. Whatever."

Dickie squeals with delight.

 

***

  


  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jonathan Lane Kent is different than Jonathan Samuel Kent. In this story, Jonathan Lane Kent is Jonathan Samuel Kent's clone, roughly fifteen- or sixteen-years-old, developmentally and less than a year old chronologically. This is an important difference because Jonathan Samuel Kent is about eleven in this story and shares a very different relationship to Superman's clones than Jon Lane Kent does.


	5. Blue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jayhawk, Red Robin and Redwing prepare to go to the Batcave. Red Hood deals with his unusual captives. Jon Lane Kent gets a surprise.

***

Flying is great. Even if Jayhawk can't do it under his own power, being carried in a wrist lock over the water to Metropolis is one of the funnest things he's ever done in his life. Conner is carrying him, and Match is carrying Redwing while Jon flies circles around them. By Kryptonian standards, they're going very slow, but it seems really fuckin' fast to Jay.

Redwing has put the flowers and chocolates in a case that Jon is carrying so that Redwing will have his hands available to hold onto Match's wrists with both hands. The superboys have made this flight a zillion times by now, so they know it by heart. When they get to the city, they start flying _up_ , soaring over buildings to reach their destination atop the LexCorp Towers penthouse, where the Kryptonians gently put their passengers down on a large balcony. 

Red Robin comes out almost immediately, tied at the ankle to a twenty-year-old Roy Harper. He lunges into his lover's arms and Jayhawk holds him close, kissing his head and then his lips. Redwing opens the case and holds out a bouquet of roses and a heart-shaped box of chocolates for Red Robin. 

"I got you these," says Redwing. "I hope you're okay with me asking you out. Timothy Drake, will you go out with me?"

Tim doesn't answer, but he takes the chocolates and roses in one hand while using the other to hold Redwing's face and give him a lingering chaste kiss. Redwing smiles brightly. "Is that a yes?" he asks.

"That's a yes," says Tim. He kisses Jason again, slow and passionate and the Kryptonians excuse themselves to go inside. 

"So, Tim," says Red Arrow. "Any chance you want to take over watching the intruder?"

"Sure," says Redwing. "But you're kind of tied to him."

"No problem. I'll just tie him to you," says Red Arrow, and he starts working on the slipknot on his ankle to step out of it and fasten it around Redwing's. "There. He's yours now. Don't let him get ahold of your utility belt or weapons. I'm trusting you to keep an eye on him until we can make sure he's not a spy. Care to introduce me to your new friend?"

"This is Jayhawk. He's the alternate version of Jason from Red Robin's universe."

"Well, I guess we better tie him to you too."

"Oh, come on!"

"Have it your way. Just don't lose them." And with that, Red Arrow goes back inside, ready to start back where he and Arsenal let off early this morning.

"So, now that we're together, do you guys want to go on a date?" asks Redwing. 

"We have to figure out a way to travel to our universe," says Jayhawk.

"Yeah, but Zatanna's busy," says Redwing. "We could hang out some while she's finishing whatever she's doing and then get her help to get you guys home. I know! I can get Jay outfitted for inertrite wings! I was gonna do that anyways. If the cave isn't in lockdown, we can go fix up and paint some wings for Jay. Do you want a jetpack and wings, Tim?"

"Wings? Are you serious?" says Tim.

"Yeah, I normally wear them when I'm out on patrol. It's not as taxing or dangerous as grappling, and it comes in real handy for moving across town faster. The only reason I'm not wearing them now is because I wanted to upgrade my wings by hooking up an automatic navigation system that accounts for wind speed, to keep me going in a straight line towards my destination. I normally just intuit it, and that works well enough, but I love tinkering."

"So you use a jetpack and wings to travel instead of a grappling gun?" asks Tim. "I'm impressed. It does seem more efficient."

"I sometimes use a grappling gun too, but it's just not always the most expedient," says Redwing. "You think you might want some too? I've got a bunch of extra sets in the base model and we can paint them however you want."

"That sounds pretty cool," Tim admits. "Do you think we could get my uniform before we go to the Batcave?"

"Sure, let's go ask where they put it."

Though Roy is hesitant to give Tim his things back, he does give him his clothes, keeping his bandoliers, weapons and utility belt safely locked away. When Redwing checks his wrist computer, it says the Batcave is no longer on lockdown and Jason's there keeping another Jason and an adult Dick in one of the detainment cells. When he brings up the video feed of the cell, he sees Dick crumbling cookies across Jason's chest and licking up the crumbs. Tim shudders, but Redwing has never met an adult Dick so he isn't as wigged out by it. Still a little wigged out though. It's not as bad as the whip. The look on Jayhawk's face says he's getting ideas and taking mental notes. Specifically, that the whole endeavor would go better with whip cream and cookies instead of just the latter.

"Well, as long as we avoid the cell with Cat-boy and Grown-Up Robin, we'll be fine," says Redwing. "The cave isn't in lockdown, so I think we're good to go."

"How are we getting there?" asks Jayhawk.

"We'll take a zeta-tube straight to the cave. There's one a few blocks away."

"There's a zeta tube just outside the cave?" asks Tim.

"Don't be absurd," says Redwing, "There's a zeta-tube _in_ the cave. Don't worry, the zeta system only permits authorized individuals to go to specific destinations. No one who's not Batman approved can go to the Batcave."

"Can't it be hacked though?" asks Tim.

"Only by Superman, Wonder Woman and Batman. And two of the above can't hack for shit. The zeta system is about forty times more secure than the Batcave."

"Wait," says Jayhawk, "if there's a tube nearby, why'd we have to fuckin' fly here?"

"It's an origin point only. It's in a public place, so the only way to make sure no one's watching is to come _from_ it."

"Oh. That makes sense."

"Do you guys want coffee or a snack before we go?" asks Redwing. 

"Coffee," says Tim. "Triple espresso Americano. And maybe a scone. Blueberry?"

"Sure, I'll tell Charity. Anything for you Jay?"

"Two caramel mocha frappuccinos and a cinnamon scone."

"Come with me. I'll introduce you guys to Charity."

They place their orders with a smiling Charity, Redwing ordering the same as Tim, and wait in the living room while she makes the drinks and bakes the scones. She doesn't take long and she makes extra scones, so pretty soon, Jay is pigging out with less than Alfred-approved manners. 

They thank Charity for the hospitality and Redwing uses a vibranium shuriken to cut the inertrite cords at Tim's foot. He promises Tim they can get him more utility equipment at the cave and Redwing tries to contact Bruce to see if he'll create new profiles for Jayhawk and Red Robin to go into the cave. They're similar enough to Red Hood and Redwing that they shouldn't have a problem getting into the Batcave, but just in case, Redwing wants Bruce to make them IDs for the zeta system. Timmy too, come to think of it.

Bruce doesn't answer, but at least the comms work, which is a relief to Redwing. He'd used his cellphone to contact Zatanna and Hood before, and it recently occurred to him that the problem with Red Robin's and Jayhawk's comm links could be compromising his own as well.

Once they're ready, they head out to the zeta-beam platform and beam to the Batcave.

 

***

 

"Okay guys, looks like you're clean," says Red Hood.

"Yippee!" says Dickie from the cell where he is curled up with Jason. 

"Does that mean we can have some more cookies now?" asks Jason.

"Indubitably," says Alfred, appearing out of nowhere. Red Hood's used to it by now and he wonders if Bruce gave Alfred training in stealth or if it's just a British butler thing.

Red Hood lets Dickie and Jason out of their cell and Alfred leads the three of them upstairs for tea and cookies. When they're settled at the dining table, Red Hood starts the interrogation.

"Who are you and how did you get here?"

"I'm fuckin' _you_!" says Jason. "And we came through a portal. It was an accident."

"Okay, so tell me about yourselves. For one, why are you dressed like something out of one of my nightmares?"

"Nightmare?!" asks Jason. "Fuck that! We're livin' the dream." 

"I was mentored by Hal and Carol and became a Violet Lantern," says Dickie. "This outfit is purely for style, reflecting my love for the world, but especially for my family and Jason."

"Your love is pretty, um, slutty, isn't it?" says Red Hood.

"Only for Jason. What kind of boyfriend would I be if I didn't make myself available for him?"

"And the boots? Is that part of your attempt at sexy?" asks Red Hood.

"Those boots are totally sexy," says Jason. "How are you not constantly popping a boner at them?"

"Umm, I guess it's just not my thing. I'm into guys, and for me that means masculine guys."

"I'm masculine!" whines Dickie.

"Dickie, you literally sparkle pink and purple. I can't come up with a better metaphor," says Red Hood. 

"What if I started sparkling blue? Would that be more masculine?" asks Dickie. "Not that I can, but hypothetically."

"I guess a little. I mean, it depends on the shade of blue."

"Royal periwinkle," says Dickie.

"No," says Red Hood. "That's not really more masculine. What about navy blue or Midnight Blue?" 

"But those are so dark! I glow with the light of love!"

"Steel blue?" asks Red Hood.

"Nah, that's just boring."

"Jesus fuck, Dickie. Anyways, so in your world, you became a Violet Lantern. What led to you travelling to this world?"

"Well, we were trying to send some friends home to their universe, but they came to this one instead. And my sweet baby got sucked into the portal, so I just _had_ to dive after him. I couldn't leave him to his disasterous fate of loneliness! There was only one batarang of love, and I gave it to Red Robin."

"Batarang of love?"

"Love is like a batarang. You have to treat it well or it could dull. Throw it away carelessly and you'll regret it. Love is best weilded with precision and care and if you're not careful, you could cut yourself or hurt someone else. Throw it right and it will always come back to you. Attached to a cord it can pull you up and support your weight. Love is not only a tool or a utensil, it is a friend and companion. Love can save your life, or when used to help others, the life of someone else."

"Fuck that," says Red Hood. "Love is like a train wreck. Powerful, inevitable, deadly and ultimately distracting."

"Holy shit, that's morbid," says Jason. "I guess you died too. Pit rage much?"

"Only sometimes. I have it well controlled," says Red Hood. "I have to. With my powers, I can't afford to fly off the handle."

"Powers?" asks Jason.

"Ooh! What kind of powers?" asks Dickie.

"I'm a meta. Kind of like a Daxamite or a Kryptonian. Science based."

" Fucking Christ, dude!" says Jason. "Can you do me next? I want that!"

"I'm not sure that's the best idea…" says Red Hood.

"Oh, come on!" says Jason. "I'm you! You've got to have empathy for that!"

"Maybe. I'll talk to my people and see what I can do. It's a complicated surgery, but you can't tell anyone that. Especially you, Dickie. Loose lips sink ships!"

"Okie dokey!" says Dickie.

"Don't worry, Red. We won't fuckin' tell anyone," says Jason.

"Good," says Red Hood. He starts texting Lex and he doesn't even know why he's doing it. He wants his alternate self and his loved ones to be protected, but a Cat with Superman's powers could easily flood the diamond market. Superman can create diamonds by crushing coal in his hand. He even gave Jason some diamonds and Lex had an ear stud made with one of them. If a Cat could make homemade diamonds, it could be a disaster waiting to happen. Although, he supposes a Cat getting rich isn't the worst thing in the world. Jason would be able to provide for his family and protect them better too. To Red Hood, it doesn't seem like Dickie and Jason are ready for kids, but Red Hood doesn't want them to have financial or physical barriers to having a family, providing for them and protecting them once they are ready. Ultimately, it's because his crass and overtly sexual other self is carving a place into Red Hood's heart that Red Hood has decided to help him get the surgery if he can. But he won't admit that to anyone. Not even himself.

 

***

 

Jon is with Conner and Match in Conner's room, cuddling and resting for a while. Wolf sits at the foot of the bed and keeps watch over his master's with love and enthusiasm. Nothing will touch them as long as he keeps watch. Conner is carding his fingers through Jon's hair and Match lays on the foot of the bed, rubbing their feet lovingly.

Jon doesn't remember putting the ring on. In fact, he doesn't even know where it came from. It looks like a seal-ring, the kind old families use to seal letters with wax. But it has a unique pattern on it. A circle in the middle, with a capital 'T' on the top and an upside-down 'T' on the bottom, and wing-like curves on the sides, creating almost a concentric circle outside the inner circle and lined up with the tops of the 'T's. It glows a royal sky blue and when Jon tries to remove it, it won't come off. 

Match notices him looking at the ring and says, "Where'd you get that?"

"I dunno," says Jon. "It's stuck! I don't even remember putting it on."

"Do you know when it got on your finger?" asks Conner.

"A few minutes ago," says Jon, "I just looked down and it was there. I don't know exactly when it got there. I know it wasn't there half an hour ago."

"It looks like a Lantern Ring of Power. We should look that up."

"If it is, I have to say an oath for it to work, right?" says Jon.

"Yeah, I think so." says Conner. "We can look it up and ask Kyle about it."

Conner goes to the crystal tech console in the corner of his room and selects one of the encyclopedia crystals. Krypton knew of the emotional spectrum and Green Lantern Corps. It's likely there's a record of the ring and it's symbol. He filters through a lot of useless information projected as a hologram and eventually finds the files on the Rings of Power.

"Look," says Match. "It's that one! 'Hope'."

"Our family glyph means hope," says Jon. "I wonder if there's a connection."

"There might be. I'm looking at the stats on that ring. It's really powerful. Do you want to be a Blue Lantern?"

"I don't know what it's all about. Is there a requirement."

"The ring's power is fueled by your hope and a power battery. A blue lantern like the green ones the Green Lanterns use to charge their rings," says Conner. "As far as I can tell, the only requirement and purpose is to instill and spread hope. That's kind of like our family mission in the first place."

"Yeah, it is," says Jon. "I think it's a good idea."

"Maybe we should talk to Kyle first," says Match. "We don't really know much about it."

"Is that a psi crystal?" asks Jon.

"You want a download?" asks Conner.

"Just the info about the Blue Lanterns and the Blue Rings of Power," says Jon.

"It will take a minute to configure. Give me a sec."

Conner continues to work at the console, compiling a download and setting himself and Jon as the targets.

"Do you want the download too, Match?" Conner asks.

"Yeah, just in case," says Match. "I want to learn about all of the Lantern Corps."

"Jon?" says Conner.

"Yeah, that sounds good," says Jon. 

"Okay, give me another minute," says Conner.

Conner continues compiling the information for the download and adds Match as a recipient. By the time he's done, Jon and Match have gone back to examining the ring.

"Ready when you are," says Conner.

"We're ready," says Match, "right, Jon?"

"Yeah. I'm ready."

The download doesn't take long and soon, they all know everything Krypton knew about the Lantern Corps.

"I want to shower and get ready to say the oath," says Jon. "I can do this. And I can help so many people as a Blue Lantern."

"You already help people," says Match. "You're perfect. A true hero."

"But would I still be one if I passed this up?"

"Yes," says Conner. "You absolutely would. But it's your choice. Do you want company in the shower?"

"Yeah," says Jon, "but no sex. I'm pretty exhausted after this morning."

"No problem," says Match. "Let's go shower."

 

***

 

Batman is sitting in the park, analyzing the conversation he had with Superman. His best friend turned him down. Batman has been so filled with love, especially since this morning, and he had to express his feelings, to tell Kal-El that he loves him before he marries Luthor and becomes unavailable forever. But Kal-El said it's too late. They could have, years ago, but Batman was so distraught by Jason's death at the time that he made himself completely emotionally unavailable, pushing Kal-El away and wallowing in his misery.

Kal-El said no, and that's among the most devastating things he's ever heard in his life. 

He sits on a park bench, in his uniform and in broad daylight, sulking and wishing things were different. Maybe in another universe, he would have made Kal-El the love of his life. As it is, he knows he'll never have him, and he knows it's his own damned fault.

 

*** 

 

Lex isn't thrilled. Jason has spilled one of the greatest of their family secrets and asked for an operation for his alternate self. Lex feels almost betrayed, but no matter how much he disagrees with the decision Jason has made, he can't bring himself to deny Jason anything he wants. It's important to Jason, and that's enough.

He calls the doctors to set up the surgery, to prep the procedure. He wonders if Jason will want the same for the other dimensional travellers, or if it's just this one. Time will tell.

 

*** 

 

In another universe, Jason Todd is preparing to travel across time and space. The Violet Lantern that turned his world upside down, the damned Star Sapphire, Richard Grayson, brought love into his life and changed him forever. He will never forget that transgression. Ever since he died, he wants nothing but to watch the world burn. But now he feels empty. It was always like this, but he was numb to it before. The destruction and death he left in his wake was enough to satisfy him before.

But that fucking Star Sapphire ruined his rule of hate and now he feels the emptiness in his life where true love should be.

He charges his Black Lantern Ring in preparation for his mission. Just like every other, he will make his enemies beg before destroying them completely. 

Jason Todd will have his revenge.

 

*** 

 

Jon feels loved and adored as Match and Conner rub him down with soap, washing him efficiently and luxuriously. It always feels like a spa treatment when they give him attention like this. His feet feel good from the foot rub Match gave him earlier and now that he's squeaky clean and full of affection for his brothers, he is sure that what he is about to do is the right thing. He can be an El and a ring bearer. They really go hand in hand. There's nothing he wants more than to help people and inspire hope. The ring is a blessing he never expected and now he's not going to let the opportunity pass him by.

When Jon, Match and Conner get out of the shower, they go to Conner's room to get dressed and find a Blue Lantern Power Battery sitting on the crystal console. Jon feels the ring light up with power as he draws near and the lantern and ring begin to glow. 

He holds the ring to the lantern and feels the power of hope envelop him in holy light. He feels as the ring, so powerful already, begins to charge and the words flow naturally to his lips as if he knows them by heart. 

Conner and Match stand back to give him room and the crystal console begins to glow with it's own power, reacting to the lantern and magnifying its light. 

Jon can't stop himself, so he doesn't, and he lets the energy flow through him and fill him with hope, will and contentment.

Conner understands how sacred this is and he and Match remain silent as Jon begins to speak.

"In fearful day, in raging night,  
With strong hearts full, our souls ignite,  
When all seems lost in the War of Light,  
Look to the stars, for Hope burns bright!"

 

***

  


  



	6. Hospital

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Red Fang gets an elective surgery. The boys are in for a surprise.

Jason Todd has made the final preparations to follow his nemesis, a Star Sapphire, through the multiverse. Once the mystical preparations are done, he finishes the rite and opens the portal. He forces his eyes to stay open as he moves through dimensions, and it reminds him in a way of going through a wormhole like he has done before. But instead of the black light of his ring, the portal is bright, vivid with colors and light as he rides the portal to his destination. In a reflex, he covers himself with the black light of his ring, protecting him from debris, gravity and inhospitable atmosphere as needed.

He knows he's in the right world because people are making out all around him. People dressed very differently than one another. It looks like a gang member was robbing a businessman, but they decided to make out instead. Of all places, they're writhing on top of a dumpster. Jason spits in disgust and leaves the love-infested alleyway. He tries to use his ring's homing abilities but something's fucked up, possibly because he's in a different universe. He senses several Green Lanterns on the planet, as well as a Blue Lantern and a Violet Lantern. He doesn't want his enemies to see him yet, and his target isn't the Violet Lantern himself, but rather the object of his affections: another Jason Todd. Black Lantern Jason has never met the Star Sapphire's Jason, but he knows he died, just like Jason did. Jason's here to ensure that the Star Sapphire's Jason dies again. It would be poetic vengeance. Then, the damned Star Sapphire will have to live his life with an emptiness that can't be filled, just like Jason does. Ever since the Star Sapphire made Jason feel _love_ , he has felt this unbelievable emptiness in his life and has wanted nothing more than to extricate that useless emotion. 

Jason decides to use his detective skills to find the Jason he means to kill. 

 

*** 

 

When Red Robin, Redwing and Jayhawk enter the Batcave, Red Fang, Red Hood and Star Sapphire are nowhere to be seen. They decide not to question their good fortune and after they outfit Red Robin with another utility belt and utility bandoliers, they get to work on the wings. Redwing has three models of wings. One for high altitude, one for maneuverability and one for stealth. Red Robin immediately chooses the one for stealth and Jayhawk chooses the one for maneuverability. 

"Do you guys want sharp flechettes or blunt? The sharp ones are easy to cut yourself on. I use the blunt ones myself. I'd rather not injure myself on my own equipment, you know?"

"I'll go for blunt," says Jayhawk.

"I'll go with blunt, but only because I'm unfamiliar with the equipment," says Red Robin. "I can always sharpen them later."

"Yeah, with an adamantium grindstone!" says Redwing. "Inertrite is best for the wings because it's a lightweight vibranium based alloy, but being vibranium based means it's very hard to sharpen. I'd stick to the blunt ones anyways if I were you. They're sharp enough to cut rope but not sharp enough to slice through solid metal. I don't know why Bruce even had the sharper versions made."

"He's probably just wanting you to be prepared. Batman was a Boy Scout after all."

"Yeah, so one set of blunt stealth wings and one set of blunt trick wings?"

"Sounds good!" says Jayhawk.

"Wait, so if vibranium exists in this universe…"

"You want vibranium leather armor? A little keepsake of your trip to my world? Something to remember me by, maybe?"

"I thought the wings were our keepsakes," says Jay. "You want to give us more?"

"You put vibranium in leather?" asks Tim.

"You can put vibranium in anything. My uniform is a leather-like polymer with vibranium in it. I almost died once and Bruce and Jason insisted I always wear vibranium after that."

"I can work on the sewing while you two work on the wings," says Tim.

"No," says Redwing, "We have people for that. You have to use a vibranium power saw to cut the cloth. Let's get Alfred to take your measurements in a bit. Right now, it's time to choose colors!"

"For the uniforms?" asks Jay.

"For the wings," says Redwing. "Here, I'll show you mine. See, mine are mostly red with the tips in black 10-inches from the end."

"I want black ones like that with red at the tips," says Jay. 

"Can we leave the tips the same color as the rest of the wings and move the accent color up? Like if your black tips were from 9 inches from the tip to 16 inches from the tip."

"Sure, we can do that."

"Let's use a less flamboyant color red though." Says Jay. "Like a dark, dark crimson instead of bright scarlet."

"Sure. Let me see what we have in paints. These paints are specially formulated to go on the wings, so they won't mess with your aerodynamics or come off with gunshots. I've had to touch up after some lasers though."

They start to look through the paints and they miraculously find the red that Tim and Jay were looking for. Redwing was prepared to do a custom mixture with the blood red and black, but the boys found exactly what they were looking for. 

Painting takes a while, about two hours to finish after carefully painting without excess on the metal flechettes. They paint the main colors on first and wait for it to dry before adding the accent colors. While they're waiting for the accent colors to dry, Alfred appears in the cave and offers to bring them down food. He brings down sandwiches and mixed fruit and takes the measurements for Jayhawk's and Red Robin's uniforms. They want inverse colors, red with black accents for Red Robin and black with red accents for Jayhawk. They want a thin stylized bird over the sternum with wings that go up to the shoulders, sort of like Jayhawk's existing uniform. Alfred takes notes of all of their ideas before sending the information off for fabrication. The suits should be ready in three days.

After that, the three of them change into sweats and take to the sparring mats to tag team. It's exhilarating and fun. They lay into each other with enough force to be potent but not enough to be brutal. They carefully avoid any existing injuries or weaknesses but otherwise give as good as they get. They're in a sweaty mound on the mats once they've finished and trade kisses with each other, being as tender and gentle as they can and thoroughly enjoying each other.

"Best date ever. Of all time," says Jay. 

They hear a telling squeal of delight coming from the staircase and both Tim and Jay groan, knowing what's coming next.

"OHMYGOD! You all are so _cute_ together!! It's precious!" says Dickie.

"Hi Red Robin, hi Jay. So you guys finally fuckin' found us," says Cat-Jason. 

"We weren't looking," says Jay. "Not yet anyways. You doing okay?"

"We had to be vetted for fuckin' authenticity, but that aside we're doing okay."

"My favorite part was the cavity search!" says Dickie.

"No!" says Red Hood, following them down the stairs.

"You should have seen Red Hood's face when he found my vibrating—"

"NO!!" yells Red Hood. "We are not reminiscing on my trauma!"

"Anyways," says Dickie, "we had a _fabulous_ day. How about yourselves?"

"Wasn't terrible," says Jayhawk. "I think you're right about Redwing though. He's a real keeper."

"Thanks, Jay," says Redwing.

"We can't keep him," says Tim. "We have to go home sometime."

"Long distance relationships _can_ work," says Jay. "We'll get him a multiversal phone and we can text each other all the time."

"And we can visit," says Redwing. "You guys can visit me here, and I can visit you guys at your home."

"I'd still rather just take you home with us," says Jay.

"Visit first," says Redwing. "We can decide on moving when we've both spent enough time at each others' places."

"I'm so _happy_ for you!!" squeal Dickie. He pulls them all into an inescapable hug and starts kissing their heads. 

"Eww, Dicke! Fuckin' get off!" says Jay.

"He only gets off with me," says Cat-Jason.

"Not what I fuckin' meant," says Jay. 

Dickie releases them from his octopus-like grasp and sighs with contentment. "I'm so glad you're here. I'm gonna need the company while my schnooksykins goes under the knife."

"Red Fang's getting surgery?" asks Tim. "Why?"

"It's top secret," says Red Hood. "It's on a need to know basis. You don't need to know."

Redwing gives Red Hood a look. "You're looking good, bossman. Have fun today?"

"No," says Red Hood. "But since you're getting in a relationship with an alternate me, I can guess you already liked me like that."

"Yeah. I knew if was never gonna happen with you, but when this one walked up and started kissing me, I couldn't resist him."

"You were kissing him?" Tim asks Jay, nudging him in the ribs with his elbow.

"I thought he was you!" says Jay. "Honest!"

"He did," says Redwing. "He started freaking out and apologizing once he realized I wasn't you."

"I'm happy for you," says Red Hood to Redwing. "I'm glad you could have this with me– him. Whatever. You know what I mean."

"Thanks Jason," says Redwing. "I'm glad this isn't wigging you out."

"I didn't uh, give you Stockholm syndrome, did I?" asks Red Hood.

"No. That's not what it was," says Redwing.

"Uh, good. I was trying to train you, not scar you."

"You didn't," says Redwing.

"So will you guys come to Metropolis with us?" asks Red Hood, "Catboy's surgery is gonna happen at LexCorp hospital."

"I'm not fuckin' 'Catboy', I'm motherfuckin' _Red Fang_!!" says Jason.

"Fine, Fangboy, whatever."

"Know you're just saying it wrong to be mean!" says Dickie.

"Your point?" says Red Hood.

"Sure," says Tim, "we'll go with you to the hospital while Red Fang gets his surgery."

"Okay then. Sounds like a plan. Surgery's tonight. Rest up if you need to," says Red Hood. "If the three of you are gonna get that cozy, go to Timmy's room and get cozy there. Not on the mats."

"Fine," says Redwing. "Let's go guys. We've got a few hours to nap and make out."

 

***

 

"Hey, Kyle," Jon says into his phone. "I've gone through a change lately and I could use a little help getting in the swing of things."

"How can I help with that? You're a Kryptonian, not a Green Lantern," says Kyle. "You know more about Krypton than I do about comic books."

"I kind of have this ring—"

" _—What color?!_ "

"Blue."

"Oh, thank God! Blue Lantern's not so bad. Typically speaking, the warm colors are all bad. Same with Black. The cool colors and white are good, but the indigo rings can be parasitic and force your emotions. If it's not green, your best bet is blue."

"Thanks, that helps. I was wondering if you could give me some lessons so I can learn how to use it. Meet me at the Fortress of Metropolis?"

"One hour. I've got to tie up some things with work first."

"Okay, see you then."

"See you soon," says Kyle, and he hangs up. 

An hour later, Kyle is at the Fortress with Jon and teaching him how to use his imagination, will and emotions to create energy constructs, do scans, and produce shields. The hardest part for Jon is aiming his energy blasts. Kyle is creating targets in the training room for him to hit and even after an hour, he hasn't hit a single one.

"I'm just not good at this," says Jon.

"You've got time to train," says Kyle. "You don't have to be good at everything right away."

"Still sucks though."

"Yeah, but it gets better. We'll practice once a week together and you can do target practice on your own every day if you want. Soon you'll be hitting bullseyes in your sleep."

"Thanks Kyle. I really appreciate it."

"Next lesson on Saturday?"

"Sure."

"Alright. I'll see you then. I need to get back to L.A."

"Be safe, Kyle. See you Saturday."

Jon looks down at his Blue Lantern uniform as Kyle leaves. It reminds him of a Kryptonians house shield, but with the Blue Lantern symbol in the middle instead of a house glyph. The outside flanks of the suit are black and the rest is a light royal blue. He even has black boots in place of his favorite athletic shoes and black, skin-tight gauntlet gloves where he usually wears none. He focuses on his ring and the concept that his house glyph is the Kryptonian symbol for hope. Sure enough, after a few minutes of concentration, the symbol on the chest has changed to form the El family crest.

"Perfect."

Jon flies home in an aura of blue light, trying to only use the ring to fly, which is hard for him. It's counter-intuitive. His instinct in the air is to fly from his Kryptonian side, so it's a lot harder than he thought it'd be. He decides to just mix his flying after a while of awkward rises and drops. Once he gets to the city, he knows he can't afford to lose control of his attitude. He flies all the way to the LexCorp balcony where Match and Conner are waiting for him. 

"So... how'd it go?" says Conner.

"It went okay. The Roys would be embarrassed to be related to me, but everything else went okay."

"Why would they be embarrassed?" asks Match.

"I couldn't hit a single target. Kyle even made some of the targets super big and I couldn't hit them. I'm supposed to do target practice on my own, and Kyle's going to give me ring lessons on Saturdays."

"It was your first time shooting a projectile with the back of your finger, wasn't it?" says Match. "I'm sure _all_ of us are proud of you, Roys included."

"What's it like to fly with a ring?" asks Conner. 

"It's nice 'cause you don't have to worry about aerial debris hitting your face, but I can't actually figure out how to fly with the ring since I'm used to flying normal."

"You'll get there," says Conner. "Maybe it feels the same and it's throwing you off."

"Maybe. Hey, do you guys hear that?" asks Jon.

"You mean the argument Dad is having?" asks Match.

"Yeah. Who's he talking to?" says Jon.

"Ra's Al Ghul," says Conner. "They've been arguing for a while now. Dad doesn't want any untested or harmful Kryptonite here and Ra's sent over a bag full of crystals he calls 'pit stones'. Apparently, it's like a form of Kryptonite that causes the same effects as a Lazarus Pit. One time use though. Once it's used up, it turns to periwinkle or pink."

"Does it work on anybody?" asks Jon.

"Theoretically," says Match. "But the point is that if the stone is used, it turns into a Kryptonite that Dad doesn't want around us. Only pink in controlled amounts, like my ring, and never periwinkle, under any circumstances."

"Hence, Lex yelling," says Jon. "So what are you guys going to do today?

"Spend it with you, silly," says Conner. "Come here." Conner holds out an arm and Jon tucks himself against Conner's chest. "Missed you baby bro," says Conner.

"Yeah," says Match, placing a kiss protectively on Jon's head. "Missed you."

"I was only gone a couple of hours, guys," says Jon.

"Yeah, well what can we say? We miss you when you aren't around," says Match. "We love you, Jonny."

"I love you, too," says Jon.

 

*** 

 

Jason is getting cleaned and prepped for the surgery. It's a lot more invasive than he thought it'd be, but he didn't ask the details until he was already dressed in a hospital gown. Dickie is giving him face-snuggles, rubbing his nose and cheek on Jason's face. 

"I fuckin' love you, Baby," says Jason.

"I love you too, my sweet and spicy snickerdoodle. I'll be waiting for you when you get out."

"I know, Baby. I'll see you soon," says Jason. Red Hood, in civvies, gives Jason's shoulder a squeeze and kisses him on the head. Jason nods to the doctors and they start the anaesthesia and take him down the hall to the O.R.

 

***

 

Red Robin, Redwing and Jayhawk are all in the hospital waiting room in full uniform. Red Hood had told them to go in civvies but when Redwing brought up the chance of a fight and the need to be prepared, he caved. He would rather get this surgery for Redwing and have him forever bullet-proof, but Redwing said no, and Jason will respect that decision even if he thinks it's the wrong one. He'd been careful to communicate the effects of the surgery but not tell how it's done. The last thing they need is every supervillain who can get their hands on X-K becoming permanently invulnerable. When Redwing got hurt, Red Hood became that much more urgent about Redwing wearing his vibranium uniform. He doesn't think he'll need it tonight, but better to be prepared than to risk his protége's life. 

Red Robin, Redwing and Jayhawk pace aimlessly and eventually go for a walk around the perimeter of the hospital. The make small-talk about the layout of the hospital and the crime rates in the area for the first couple of rounds, and Redwing kisses both of his partners in turn on the start of the third round. Eventually, they start talking for real.

"Do you know what this surgery is?" asks Jayhawk. "Sparkles said it would give him superpowers from a rock."

"That's it!!" yells Redwing, "That's how they do it!"

"How they do what?" asks Red Robin.

"They grant humans permanent Kryptonian powers by surgically implanting X-Kryptonite in them. It's why Jason was never on record as a meta until just a while before we met. God! I'm so stupid! I can't believe it took me months and a big mouthed Violet Lantern to figure this out."

"Well, whatever the fuck you're talking about, you're not fuckin' stupid," says Jay.

"I can't believe I've never thought of that," says Red Robin. "It'd have to be something that isn't a fluid like blood or pus. It'd have to be solid…"

"Bones," says Redwing. "They implant the X-K in the bones."

"Marrow? Or partial replacements?" asks Red Robin.

"Both maybe? No, once the cellular density's increased, the bones become a lot stronger than any form of Kryptonite. It has to be the marrow."

"Fascinating!" says an ominous voice. It sounds like Jay, but not. "What a world this is. I'd say give my regards to Star Sapphire for me, but since none of you will be living to tell him, I guess that's on me. _Prepare to DIE, motherfuckers!!_ "

Before the shadow of a man can raise his fist, Red Robin's already thrown three Robinrangs and sliced into the man's arm. The Robinrangs fall out and the bleeding stops and the form starts glowing black.

"What the fuck are you?" asks Jay.

"I'm your doom, Red Fang!"

"I'm not Catboy! I'm Jayhawk!"

"Doesn't matter. I might as well kill every Jason Todd I can find. That way I can't miss the one I'm here fo—" WHOOSH!

Before they realize it, Red Robin, Jayhawk and Redwing are on the roof of the hospital and below them, they hear Red Hood talking.

"If you want to kill a Jason, why don't you start with me?" says Red Hood.

"Suits me just fine," the unknown Jason says as he wields a sword of black light. The sword clanks against Red Hood, cutting through the vibranium leather, but bouncing off his skin. "Well that's a surprise. What an upgrade. I'd want one myself, but I'm really only here for one reason. Give me the other Jason and you can walk away from this."

"Fuck no."

"I was hoping you'd say that."

Red Hood shoots lasers out of his eyes and the heat vision bears down on the black aura of the unknown Jason. Then, that Jason forms his black aura like a mirror, reflecting the beams back at Red Hood. Red Hood curses and goes in for a straightforward attack, knocking the Black Lantern out with super-speed and a mean backhand before he has time to react. Just to be sure, he takes the Black Lantern's hand and looks at the ring. A triangle shooting five rays out from its top meets Red Hood's eyes and he curses again. There's a cell at the Fortress of Metropolis that will work to hold this guy until they figure out what to do with him. He speeds away into the sky, Black Lantern in tow, leaving his three friends on the roof.

"What the actual fuck?!" says Jay.

 

***

 

"Something's wrong," says Jon. "I got this really bad feeling. Where's Redwing? And Jayhawk and Red Robin? We need to see them."

"Sure, Baby Bro," says Match. "They're at the hospital with Jason and the other dimensional travellers."

"Someone's with them. It doesn't feel right."

"Alright," says Conner, putting on a Shield patch. "Let's go."

Jon dons his Blue Lantern uniform and leads the way to the hospital at incredible speeds. Conner and Match keep up easily and they arrive on the roof to find the innocents in question. "Are you guys okay?" asks Jon.

"Yeah, we're fine," says Redwing. "Red Hood saved the day. I don't know what that guy was, but I don't think he was human. He was like another Jason, but glowing black. He made this black sword out of nothing and it cut right though Red Hood's vibranium body armor."

"Damn it!" curses Jon. "Do you know anything about him? Is he a demon or something maybe?"

"He regenerated after he got pierced by Robinrangs."

"Where are the shurikens?"

"Probably on the ground where he left them," says Red Robin.

"I'll be right back," says Jon, glowing blue and floating to the ground where Red Robin indicated. He picks up the Robinrangs with force bubbles from his ring and starts to scan the blood on them. "Please let me be wrong!" he whines just as the results of the analysis come back. Jon yells in frustration, but feels hope bubble from within him. There's a Star Sapphire here. He can feel him close. And he knows a Green Lantern. Maybe they can create the White Light of Life together and keep the Black Light of Death at bay. Jon won't give up until the evil Jason is saved from his ring of power. A plan formulates in his mind, and he has the hope and the will to see it through. It _will_ work.

On the roof, Match is continuing to question the others about their encounter. "Did he say why he was here?"

"He wanted to fuckin' kill Red Fang and fuckin' gloat about it to Dickie," says Jay. "I think he wanted revenge."

"We'll ask Dickie about it," says Conner. "Let's get back inside. Or we can ask him to meet us outside. That's probably better. I'll go get him and we'll talk this through. Sounds like he'll know something about it."

"I'll go get him," says Match. "You guys hang tight."

 

***

  



	7. Death and Remorse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Black Lantern returns!

Dickie, Conner, Match, Redwing, Red Robin, Jayhawk and Jon, a freshly inducted Blue Lantern are on the roof of the LexCorp Hospital while they explain to Dickie what happened.

Upon hearing of the incident, Dickie has a look of horror on his face.

"A Black Lantern? Are you sure?" he asks Jon.

"Positive. I scanned his blood and it's full of his black aura. Do you know a Jason that's a Black Lantern?"

"OHMYGOD!! It can't be him! I encased him in Love Amethyst! The only way to get out is to have a change of heart and accept love into your life. If the crystal broke, then he wouldn't be attacking people. Would he?"

"Maybe a Black Lantern can break the amethyst?" says Red Robin.

"I don't know!" cries Dickie.

"We have to know more about him," says Redwing. "What can you tell us about this Jason."

"He's from a universe where he was killed by the Joker. The difference is that he wasn't brought back by a Lazarus Pit or the power of love. He was brought back as a Black Lantern. He served in the Black Lantern Corps, but quickly defected, killing many other Black Lanterns in the process. For a short time after that, he had two rings of power: a Black Lantern Ring and a Red Lantern ring. He killed dozens, maybe over a hundred in his rage, including his family, blaming them for not saving him or avenging him. That's when I met him. I was travelling across dimensions and witnessed as he killed Man-B. I couldn't take it, so I used my Star Sapphire powers to destroy the Red Lantern ring and put love in his heart. He lashed out at me and we talked for a while. He was bragging about his kills and taunting me, telling me I could never stop him. I encased him in the Love Amethyst and left that universe. That's all I know."

"Holy shit, dude!" says Match.

"No fuckin' kidding," says Jayhawk. "I second that 'holy shit'."

"I have a plan to save him," says Jon.

"Save _him_?!" says Red Robin.

"He's possessed by the Black Lantern ring," says Jon. "If he has love in his heart, that means he can reform. We need to give him the chance to live a pure life while protecting ourselves and others from him. We can do it."

"So what's the plan," asks Conner.

"I can't tell you," says Jon. "If we talk about it, there's the chance he can find out. Dickie, how many colors do we need to make white light?"

"At least three, but four is optimal. You want to destroy his ring?"

"Something like that. I'll call Kyle and tell him this is an emergency. We guard the hospital in groups of three until Jason's surgery is over."

"A Kryptonian, a Lantern and a Bat, if we can," says Conner. "I'll go with Redwing."

"I'll go with Dickie and Match," says Red Robin.

"That leaves Jon, Red Hood and Jayhawk," says Conner. "We'll split into two groups until Red Hood gets here. Redwing, you go with Red Robin, Dickie and Match, and I'll go with Jon and Jayhawk. My team will patrol outside, and your team will patrol inside. We good?"

The others say their unanimous consents and split into their groups.

On their fourth patrol around the hospital, Conner, Jon and Jay are met by Red Hood. like before, he's not wearing his helmet, but he is wearing his domino. With his other armor ripped, he's wearing his old armor with a red bat symbol on his chest. He's sweating, and that's not a good sign.

"Are you okay Red Hood?" asks Jon

"Motherfucker woke up mid-flight. I hit him harder and he's got lights out for a while. I put him in an impenetrable cell in the Fortress of Metropolis."

"That won't hold him for long," says Jon.

"Did you take his ring?" asks Conner.

"I tried, but it wouldn't come off."

"You should have taken his fuckin' finger," says Jay.

"I'll keep that in mind," says Red Hood. "So what do we do now?"

"Can you tell Lex what's going on?" asks Jon. "Dickie's inside, take him with you to give more information about the Black Lantern. We need some of those pit stones, and Lex will want to know what's going on anyway."

"Sure, kiddo. I'll be back soon." Red Hood speeds inside to find Dickie, leaving Jay and Conner to wonder what the fuck Jon is up to.

"Don't say it," says Jon. "If you figure out my plan, don't say it out loud." 

"Don't fuckin' worry about that. I'm fuckin' lost," says Jay.

"You want to destroy his ring, don't you," says Conner.

"Yes, but I can't tell you how," says Jon. "I need to call Kyle. I should've already done it, but I've been distracted."

The phone rings twice before Kyle picks up.

"Hello, this is Rayner."

"Kyle? This is Jon. There's an emergency and I need you at the LexCorp Hospital as soon as possible. I'm patrolling the outside perimeter."

"Sure. I'll be there. Gimme ten to twenty."

"Thanks, Kyle."

"No problem."

"Kyle? We found a Black Lantern. He wants to kill people."

"A Black Lantern?!! Do you know who it is?"

"It's an alternate universe version of Jason Todd."

"I should have guessed. And yeah, the killing people, that's what Black Lanterns do. I'll be there as soon as I can."

Kyle hangs up without saying goodbye and Jon huffs. He's confident in his plan, but the waiting is going to kill him.

 

***

 

Jason has brought Dickie to Lex, and Dickie just explained the situation. The Black Lantern Jason is seeking revenge at Dickie for stopping him in his universe and putting love in his heart. Black Lanterns have a lot of powers like the Green Lanterns, but they regenerate and can sacrifice people's hearts to their rings to help charge them. They also have the ability to kill someone who has already died with a simple command. Hopefully, Black Lantern Jason hadn't figured that last part out yet.

"Very well, I guess it was inevitable. I have some tools that may be of assistance, but we have to go to LexCorp Towers to get them. I suggest we wait until after Jason's surgery so that you two can help guard him. I'll be right outside the operating room as a last defense."

"No offense Man-Lexie," says Dickie, "but what can you do?"

"My dear boy, I am more capable than you can imagine."

"Okay," says Jason, "so do we all go to LexCorp once the surgery's over."

"That may be best. But I'll get some pit stones now so that we'll have them in case of emergency."

"Good. Jon said we need pit stones. He wouldn't tell me what for, though."

"Jon being secretive? That's unusual. He must be worried he's being watched."

"Something like that. He said if we figure out his plans we can't say them out loud."

"Hmm. Well, while I'm going to get the stones anyway, I'll get the tools while I'm at it. Jason, you've been excellent at controlling your rage. Do you think you could control it if it was magnified?"

"Man-Lexie!! No!!" says Dickie, "No good will come of that! You can't be thinking—"

"Ah, ah! Don't say it out loud. I think this is totally doable. We won't use the tools unless we have to and the black one is being kept safely locked up."

"Do you have a white one?" asks Dickie.

"I wish I did. But alas, I do not. The White Light can be created by the other rings combined, correct?"

"What, like Captain Planet?" asks Jason.

"Sort of, but without them turning into a guy," says Dickie. "It's more like the lights of the rings combine, like if you refract different color lasers together."

"Wait, Daddy, you have Lantern Rings?"

"Jason, I have everything."

"Except a White Lantern ring," says Dickie.

 

***

 

The surgery is a success and Red Fang is recovered from the surgery before they move him from the O.R. Kryptonians, Bats and Lanterns guard the gurney as Jason is taken to a recovery room. Match and Jon take up position in the hall outside the door and the rest guard the window and room while Jason wakes up. 

Jason is about to ask if it went well, if it worked, but he realizes he's floating above his recovery bed before the words make it to his mouth. Dickie is there by his side, greeting him with a kiss and whispering words of love and devotion.

They only have a few seconds of this as everyone turns to see Jason's okay, and the window crashes inward as a pervasive black light fills the room. A glowing black figure speeds to Jason, hitting him with blades and energy blasts. Nothing works and the Black Lantern gets truly pissed off. "WHY WON'T YOU DIE?!!" he screams, blasting him again and again. He's getting hit on all sides, but this time his black aura keeps him safe. But a sucker punch to the face forces him back through the window he busted and into the parking lot where he limply plows through cars. 

"Dickie, stay with the Bats and Catboy!" says Conner. "We'll take care of this," he says as he leads his brothers and Red Hood out through the blasted window. 

"I'm not Catboy!!" Jason screams after them.

Luthor arrives in the room to find the scene playing out. He hands Dickie a pit stone. "If Red Fang dies again, use this by cutting his hand with it. Once his blood touches the stone, it will work like a Lazarus Pit and bring him back. Stay with him." With that, Luthor _floats_ over the mess of the busted window and into the parking lot. His bodyguard Mercy isn't far behind him, walking carefully over the busted bricks and broken glass. By the time they get to the fight, Match and Conner are wrestling the Black Lantern while Jon uses his Blue Lantern powers, trying to give the Black Lantern hope.

"True hope is selfless," he mutters and his ring alights with renewed fervor. 

"Jason, my boy. I have something for you," Lex says and he takes Jason's hand and puts a ring on his finger. It glows red, and so do Jason's eyes, mimicking the ring.

"Thanks, Daddy. I got this." 

"Wait to move until we're all here. Then call Dickie to come out. We're going to create the White Light of Life. That is the only reason you wear that ring now!"

"FUCK THAT!!" yells Jason, but Lex's strong grip keeps him from entering the fray. 

"You conquered the pit rage, and you can conquer this. I'm proud of you, Jason. Use the ring, don't let it use you."

"Sorry, Daddy. I don't know what came over me."

Mercy appears beside them, holding a wooden staff topped with an indigo jewel. The Indigo Lantern Ring is glowing on her finger and she has a sad smile. "I'm ready," she says.

"Then give that troublemaker some compassion," says Lex. "We're still waiting for Mister Rayner, but perhaps you can help slow him down."

"I suggest you put your rings on, sir," Mercy says, and she focuses her energies on the Black Lantern. As if on cue, Conner and Match are blasted with black energy beams and sent flying into the night sky.

"I won't let you change me! Not like Star Sapphire did! Never again!!" Black Lantern yells as he lunges at Jon. Jon doesn't have the wherewithall to create a shield or dodge, but he doesn't have to. Suddenly Lex is blocking Black Lantern's path and glowing yellow and orange.

"Mine!" Lex yells. "Not yours!!"

Lex is overpowering Black Lantern easily, and not to be left out, Red Hood joins the fray to protect his love and release his rage. They use construct weapons and shields, dodging and attacking in a unique blend of beautiful and terrifying.

"Control your rage, Jason!" Lex yells as a reminder, but there's no need. Jason learned to control his rage by carefully channeling it. That's what he's doing now, using his anger to focus his attacks, empowering himself without losing himself. 

But it doesn't matter because the Black Lantern screams, "DIE, Jason Todd!!" Red Fang and Red Hood drop dead.

"NO!!" screams Lex. He goes to Red Hood and pulls him into his lap. Just as tears begin to fall, he remembers what he has in his pockets. _Pit Stones!_ Luthor pulls out pit stones and tosses one to Mercy. "Go! Heal Red Fang!" Black Lantern dives at Mercy but a high powered laser blast fires from her arm, pushing him back and giving Luthor time to administer the pit stone to Red Hood, cutting his hand open and letting the blood onto the crystal. Red Hood's skin glows green for a second and then he's coughing and clutching Lex. He doesn't seem to process what happened and sits up.

"Lex, we've got a fight to finish."

"That we do, my boy!"

The Black Lantern is more experienced than the others and though Conner and Match did a good job of keeping him down while the Jasons were revived, he's up again and easily keeping up a good fight even though he's distracted by the workings of Mercy and Jon, who are having a hard time breaking through to him. Jon sees the way the fight is going and yells to Lex. "Pit stone! I need a pit stone!"

Lex takes one from his business suit pocket and throws it to Jon. Mercy easily catches it and hands it to Jon and hits them all with a beam of pure compassion. Lex hesitates, but Jason focuses through it. He knows in the long run that the most compassionate thing they can do is put this monster down. 

Lex screams to Mercy, "The Star Sapphire! Get Dickie!" and she obediently goes to fetch Dickie so they can fight together. Now, with the Lights of Love, Compassion and Hope, the three of them focus on the Black Lantern. His movements are more sluggish now and he seems torn between following through with each attack and giving up. Lex is not giving up and neither is Jason, as they continue to battle.

Kyle finally arrives in a blaze of green glory.

" _What the actual fuck, guys?_ "

"Not the time, Rayner," yells Lex. 

"Wait, there's six of us," says Kyle, "seven colors against a Black Lantern."

"No fucking duh, Kyle," Match says as he prepares to rejoin the fight after being knocked into the sky again. "Conner and I will wrestle this guy. The six of you do your Captain Planet thing and destroy his ring."

"Roger that!" says Jason, moving further away and using ranged attacks to subdue his opponent. He moves backwards towards the other Lanterns and Kyle joins the four of them. Conner comes out of nowhere and starts pummeling the Black Lantern as Match jumps in to help. Granted the needed reprieve, Lex joins the other Lanterns. 

"How do we do this?" asks Jason

"We all hit his ring at the same time," says Kyle.

"What if some of us aren't a good shot?" says Jon.

"Then _hope_ you will be."

The six of them focus their energies, channeling their emotional power with solid will, and Match pins the Black Lantern's ring hand out where they can easily see it.

They focus their power, release it and everything goes white.

Jason Todd dies. His Black Lantern Ring of Power destroyed, he turns back into the corpse he was when he received the ring, still beaten and cut by the Joker's crowbar. 

Jon doesn't hesitate. He rushes in to administer a pit stone while Dickie focuses his love and Mercy, her compassion. Jason, Kyle and Lex stay back, prepared to fight in case he has another trick up his sleeve.

The pit stone revives him and Jason begins crying.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry!! What have I done?!" He continues to wail and weep and Dickie holds him and tries to console him. There's no consoling him. 

Mercy uses her Indigo Lantern ring to release Red Hood from the bond of his Red Lantern ring and Lex carefully places it in his pocket alongside his Orange and Yellow Lantern rings. Then Mercy goes to the weeping Jason and puts the Indigo Lantern ring on his finger where his Black Lantern ring once was. 

Relieved that it's over, the Kryptonians and Bats start heading for the Fortress of Metropolis while Red Fang joins Dickie in consoling their mortal enemy who's now filled with compassion for all life and sorrow for the lives he took.

 

***

  


  



	8. The Next Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone recovers from the aftermath of the incident.

***

 

"You think they'll be okay?" asks Redwing.

"Yeah," says Red Robin. "I think so."

"It's been a fuckin' long night guys. Do you want to turn in?" says Jay.

"Not yet," says Red Robin. "I need some coffee. Is there coffee in a Kryptonian Fortress?"

"Of course," says Redwing. "We're not barbarians. Here, let me show you the kitchen."

Redwing leads his new beaux through the Fortress and into the kitchen where there are several modern appliances including a full Cappuccino machine and a regular coffee pot. 

"Ooh, gimme, gimme, gimme!" says Tim.

"Oh shit," says Redwing, "did you guys see where the orange ring went?!"

"Don't worry, this is just what he's like with coffee. First time I ever saw him drinking it, he called it his fuckin' precious!"

"I'm never gonna live that down, am I?" asks Red Robin.

"Not as long as you keep doing it!" says Jay. "I know you think we don't hear you when you mutter to your coffee, but I do. You always fuckin' call it your fuckin' precious." 

Redwing starts working on the getting the cappuccino machine ready while Red Robin starts brewing the coffee in the coffee maker. 

"Ahh," says Red Robin, "the sweet smell of ambrosia!"

Redwing giggles. "You got that right bro! Wait a second – us being involved, is that incest?"

"I don't care," says Red Robin as he pulls Redwing in for a kiss. "Incest or not, I wanna fuck you tonight. Jay does too."

"I'll go shower—" starts Redwing.

"— No. I want you _in_ the fuckin' shower," says Jay. "You can wait to get all wet. Coffee first. Then shower scene."

Both Tims blush. Redwing looks at Red Robin. "Does that sound good to you? You want me in the shower?"

"Yes," says Red Robin, "the shower's perfect."

 

*** 

 

"Big day, huh?" says Conner. 

"How was your first day as a Blue Lantern?" asks Match.

"It was too much," says Jon. "I'm still a bit wound up."

"You want some love, Little Bro?" asks Match.

"No, I'm too wound up," says Jon. "Do you guys want to play in the pool for a while?"

"Sure, Jon," says Conner. "Beach ball?"

"Yeah, I can try to practice the volleyball net thing that Kyle does for a while. Then after that… I want you to be really rough. I need it like that tonight."

"Whatever you need, Baby," says Match. "We'll make sure not to hurt you too much."

"Thanks. I just… I just need it like that tonight. I don't know why," says Jon.

"You don't have to justify your feelings, Baby Bro," says Conner. "If you need it like that, that's what we'll do. Remember your safe word?"

"Let's do traffic lights tonight."

"Okay, Sweets," says Match. "Whatever you want."

 

***

 

The next morning Kyle is still there at the Fortress, but he's gone into town to bring back donuts and kolaches. He's starting up the espresso machine and making himself a latté when Jon comes in. 

"Hi, Kyle. Good morning."

"Mornin' sleepyhead. Big night, huh?"

"Uhg."

"Here, I'll make you a mocha. You sit down in front of the donuts. You can't have any though. You just have to sit and watch them."

"Kyle!"

"I'm kidding, little dude. Have as many as you want. But if you sit still long enough, they'll do tricks."

"What kind of tricks?"

Kyle points his ring at the donut box and four donuts with chocolate frosting and sprinkles move out of the box to do flips in the air before landing on a green construct surface where they start spinning. At first it reminds him of the way a spirograph moves but then he's imagining what it would look like if they were triangles and not circles. 

He face palms.

"Donuts," says Jon.

"Donuts doing donuts," says Kyle mischievously. 

Jon takes one as it does circles near his head and starts eating as Kyle puts the other donuts back and starts making Jon's mocha.

"Couldn't have done that without you last night," says Kyle. "You made me really proud."

"I wish I could've done better. I could've stopped this as soon as it started if I was good like you."

"I've been a Green Lantern for years, Jon. You've been a Blue Lantern for less than a day. And, you didn't miss the target when it really counted."

The corner of Jon's mouth curls up in a smile. "I didn't, did I?"

"No, your aim was true, and the enemy was defeated," says Kyle, "And thanks to you, he was saved from his own darkness. I know Kal-El would be proud too."

"He probably already is," says Jon. "I doubt Lex kept it from him."

"Either way, you should be proud of yourself. You did good," says Kyle.

"Didn't do so bad yourself," says Jon.

"Aww, stop! You're making me blush!" says Kyle. 

"Do you know how Lex got all those other rings?" asks Jon.

"It's Lex Luthor. I'm pretty sure we don't want to know. Although I suppose he might have some sort of intergalactic eBay account, I doubt he obtained them without bloodshed."

Jon shivers.

"So glad he's on our side," says Jon. "I wouldn't want to think of a world where he was against us."

"Do you want eggs?" asks Kyle. "I can make some if you want."

"Conner will make some when he gets up."

On cue Conner, Match, Tim, Tim and Jay come into the kitchen. "Who wants eggs?" says Conner. 

The seven of them make small talk and try to keep things light-hearted, but Conner's uncomfortable and Match looks downright haunted. Tim is the first one to say it.

"How do we make sure that never happens again?" he asks Kyle.

"Which part?"

"How do we make sure that particular Jason is reformed, and how do we make sure no Black Lanterns come back and repeat everything? We got lucky."

"You don't have to tell me twice. The best way to be prepared is to have a White Lantern, but that's really rare. As far as that particular Jason goes, we know he'll reform because he's an Indigo Lantern. The only way to take off that ring is to do so in an act of compassion, like Mercy did. He's stuck feeling infinite compassion all the time now. He doesn't have a choice. As far as other Black Lanterns go, we can only hope for the best and prepare for the worst. The Black Lantern Corps was dealt with before and it's unlikely there are any here anymore. I've done ring scans over the planet a dozen times since last night. As far as I can tell, there aren't any more Black Lanterns left on Earth and this one came here from another reality."

"So what you're saying is there's nothing we can do," says Match.

"We're already doing it. If things had been worse when I got there, I would have called the other three Green Lanterns Earth has to the site and we would have been able to handle it."

"I scanned for the Indigo Lantern," says Jon. "As of this morning, he's in the Batcave with a Star Sapphire. Three guesses which one and the first two don't count."

Jay grinds his teeth. He doesn't like the idea of that maniac being anywhere near Dickie or the Batcave.

"I'll check on them," says Redwing, and he pulls up the security feeds of the Batcave on the crystal surfaces of the room.

"DEAR GOD, WHY?!!" Red Robin screams.

"More like 'Dear God, how?'," says Match. "Dickie is really flexible. I expected Catboy to be, but this other Jason… I mean, he's practically bent in half backwards."

"At least we know he's reformed," says Conner. "He wouldn't be doing _that_ with the person he hates most. They've come a long way in eight hours."

"Those stains are never going to come out of the Batcave," complains Redwing. "It's tainted now."

"It was already tainted before," says Jay. "Remember, Catboy and Dickie were doing worse than that."

"Yeah, but that was two of them. This is three. That means it's three times more tainted," says Redwing.

"I'm not sure that's how math works," says Red Robin. 

"At least everyone's getting along," says Jon. "This is what I wanted."

"You wanted a former Black Lantern to be fuckin' desecrating the Batcave?!" asks Jay.

"No, I wanted him to have a chance to be purified of evil and live a good life. That's what I want for all of us."

"Yeah, but we're not evil," says Conner.

"You get what I mean though, right?" says Jon.

"Yeah, I think so, Baby Bro," says Match.

They make small talk about other things while they eat breakfast, trying to distract themselves from the sexual acrobatics they saw on the surfaces of the table, walls and kitchen counters. Jon is very happy to be a Blue Lantern now and Kyle has agreed to more lessons to help prepare him for another hopefully never-happening trial by fire. The Roys show up during breakfast with cinnamon roll pizza and talk with the Tims and Jayhawk about giving Tim's things back. Apparently Lex vouched for their trustworthiness and valiance and said the Roys should make up for their treatment of him. They didn't bring up the fact that it was under Lex's orders they watched him like that, but the smile in Lex's eyes said it was meant humorously. Soon, Jayhawk is asking about the X-Kryptonite surgery now that the cat's out of the bag and Arsenal says he needs to ask Lex about that. Jay tells Redwing that he wants the stealth wings if he can get the surgery, so he doesn't have to rely on his superhuman flight and can pretend his aerial talents are mechanical. Redwing agrees and says they can ask Lex while the Batcave is *cough* _in use_. The Bats prepare to get dressed in their uniforms and the Roys join the supers in the game room to christen it. Kyle is left in the kitchen wondering if he should call the other Titans and brief them on the whole fiasco. He decides that it can wait until after he eats a tub of cheese puffs and vigorously works out afterward to burn the extra calories.

 

***

"Exactly how many Jasons do you want me to enhance?" says Lex, staring down at Redwing, Red Robin and Jayhawk in the living room of his penthouse.

"Just one more," says Jayhawk meekly.

"This will make four," says Lex with severity.

"Three," says Redwing. "Red Hood, Catboy and Jayhawk."

"I consider the Indigo Lantern ring an enhancement. Four."

"Please, Daddy?" asks Jayhawk.

"Call me that again and I'll cut out your tongue with kitchen scissors. That said, excellent use of manipulation. For that alone, I am willing to help. It seems there might be hope for you left. Although, if you do decide to stay in this reality, I suppose a harem of Jasons wouldn't be out of the question."

"Please, sir?" says Jason again.

"Certainly. But I will be writing out a contract I expect you to sign and have notarized. You will be required to read several books, including Pólitík, by Machiavelli and every Mark Twain book ever written. I expect essays on all of them."

"Really," says Red Robin. "That's the cost of superpowers with you?"

"And chess lessons. I expect updates from your Bruce via trans-dimensional phones I had made. They should work with you own multiversal phones if my magicians are to be believed. I also expect updates as to your well being and any pranks you choose to play on Bruce. I am open to suggestions."

"Not a bad fuckin' deal," says Jayhawk.

"Language, young man. Be mindful of the words you speak. Copulation isn't part of the agreement, but if I were to take you literally, it would be."

"Thanks for this," says Red Robin.

"This is for Jason, not you. And you're welcome. Now, all of you, get out. Report back here by five o'clock this afternoon, and I'll go ahead and have my doctors ready for the procedure."

With that, Lex goes to the kitchen to retrieve Red Hood, who had been eating a sandwich in his domino and armor. At Lex's arrival, he starts to take off his domino, but Lex stills his hand.

"Leave the costume on."

 

***

 

"Somehow, I though you had something else in mind," says Jason to Lex.

"What ever do you mean? I feel it necessary to make amends with your counterpart and visit Red Fang at the Batcave. It's our duty to ensure that he is on the straight and narrow and that Red Fang is alright. I suppose we should determine the safety of the Star Sapphire while we're at it."

"Do we have to go by limo though?"

"Would you prefer a bicycle?"

"Very funny."

"I didn't intend it to be. Nevertheless, we are almost to our destination. I love you, Jason. I hope the scene that awaits us is one of good fortune."

"I hope so, too."

"Be ready for anything."

 

*** 

 

"I was not prepared for this," says Red Hood. The scene he encounters upon entering the Batcave involves two Jasons naked and licking whipped cream and what looks like cookie crumbs off Star Sapphire's thighs. Dickie is still in his costume, a parody of modesty, and both Jasons seem to be eagerly enjoying it, rubbing their hands across the tops of the boots and Dickie's barely clothed buttocks. 

"I was," says Lex as he takes Red Hood's hand and loudly clears his throat.

The three occupied occupants of the Batcave look in unison at Lex and Red Hood.

"I see you're getting along splendidly," says Lex. "We are here to ensure the safety and happiness of you three. May I presume all is well?"

"We're fuckin' fabulous," says Red Fang.

"Absolutely fabulous!!" says Dickie. The Indigo Lantern says nothing but gives a sheepish smile.

"Will you be taking both Jasons home with you, Star Sapphire?"

"Yes, we have a lot of love for each other, and I think we can make this work."

"I'm really sorry about everything," says the Indigo Lantern, "I'm sorry I caused so much trouble, and I'm sorry I tried to kill you."

"I have no doubts. Are you happy now?" asks Lex.

"I am. Happier than I've been since before I died the first time."

"Good. If everything's alright, we'll be on our way. It was good to see you all. You may resume your activities." With that, Lex leads Red Hood out of the cave and to their waiting limo.

"So, what do you want to do now?" asks Red Hood, starting to take off his domino. Lex stops him and unzips his own pants.

"Leave the costume on."

 

***

  


  



	9. Enhancements

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jay and the Tims decide they want surgery to give them physical enhancements. The question is which one.

  


***

  


When Lex and Jason get back to the LexCorp penthouse, Jayhawk and Red Robin are waiting for him. Lex kindly offers them beverages, and they kindly accept the offer. Hope begins making them espresso drinks and they all sit down in the living room. 

"What can I do for you?" asks Lex pleasantly. 

"Well, uh, I, uh—" Tim stammers over his words and Lex makes a circling motion with his hand as if to say 'go on'. 

"Tim want the surgery too," Jay blurts out. "But he only wants to be a little super. For that matter, I do too."

Jason seems a little taken aback. _Why would anyone want to be less super?_

Lex is completely unfazed. He doesn't say anything yet, welcoming his guests to continue.

"It's a matter of identity," says Tim. "We still want to be ourselves, and we don't want superpowers to fundamentally change our psychological core or paradigms."

"Yeah," says Jay. "What he said."

"Well," says Lex. "We have been doing experiments with mice you may find appealing. There are multiple ways to approach this, but the most consistent way is to use a combination of Blue Kryptonite and X-Kryptonite. The Blue Kryptonite accelerates healing in Kryptonian-powered individuals and limits the powers of the X-Kryptonite. In varying ratios we can control the degree to which you manifest powers. Are you interested to learn more?"

"Fuck yeah!" says Jay. Tim elbows him in the ribs and Jay corrects himself, "I mean, yes, please, um– sir."

"Very well," says Lex. "Our experiments show graduated results. We have five ratios we can work with to produce the desired results. All X-K and no Blue K means full on Kryptonian capabilities. On the other end of the spectrum, the same amount of both provides an accelerated healing factor and immunity to Green K but no superpowers. One part Blue K and ten parts X-K means most Kryptonian abilities, very little resistance to Green K. Two parts Blue K to five parts X-K means powers like Kon-El's natural abilities: super strength, enhanced vision and hearing and invulnerability. No heat vision, no super speed, no flight. Seven parts Blue K to ten parts X-K produces a surprising result: enhanced speed, strength, stamina, durability, senses and reflexes. Plenty of accelerated healing factor. Just superhuman enough to be superhuman, but still plenty mortal. Almost complete immunity to Greek K. I have a suspicion that ratio may be a favorite among you Bats. If you desire a result between the last two I mentioned, perhaps three parts Blue K to five parts X-K for you? It wouldn't give you Kon-El's extra spectra of sight, but you would have his enhanced hearing and binocular vision. You wouldn't be invulnerable, but your skin would be particularly difficult to break. We don't have any data on super speed yet. Since Kon-El doesn't have it and the gradients of superpowers below that ratio have an element of it, it's hard to guess."

"Wow," says Tim, "That's a lot to take in."

"Take your time deciding," says Lex calmly, "It's a relatively simple solution but could prove very difficult if not impossible to revise once the operation is complete."

"I want the next to last ratio you talked about," says Jay. "Was it seven to ten?"

"The one with enhanced abilities and an enhanced healing factor but not superhuman feats in the traditional Kryptonian fashion?"

"Yeah, that's the one," says Jay.

"Me too," says Tim. "I think."

"Take all the time you need to decide," says Lex with compassion in his voice. 

"Can I still get the surgery today?" asks Jay.

"Certainly," says Lex, "but we'll need a little time to grind the Blue Kryptonite into dust and mix it with the right ratio into the X-Kryptonite powder. Surgery will be at eight or nine o'clock tonight. I'll have my people start working on that now."

"Thank you, Mr. Luthor." 

 

*** 

 

Redwing only finds out about the surgery just before it happens. He spends the time waiting with Red Robin and they discuss their future and the potential between them. Redwing agrees to visit Red Robin's and Jayhawk's universe with them when they go home, and Zatanna, after speaking with Dickie, has started to wrap up the investigations into the love phenomenon that wrecked half of Blüdhaven, Gotham and Metropolis. With any luck, she'll be ready to send everyone home soon. She still has a bit of research to do to prepare for it. 

The surgery only takes a couple of hours and though there is a requirement of Jay laying in a recovery bed for a while, his body healed almost immediately once the surgery was done and by the time Red Robin and Redwing get to him, he's already joking and cussing like his usual self. 

"About time you fuckin' showed up," says Jay.

"You _just_ came out of surgery," says Red Robin.

"Yeah but the doctors were giving me medical babble for like fifteen minutes straight. Fuckin' boring. Come 'ere and give me a kiss, Prettyboy," says Jay, opening his arms wide towards Red Robin.

"I don't know, we should probably ask the doctors first," teases Red Robin. After Jay gives him a shocked look, as if the carpet had been pulled out from under him, Red Robin giggles and rushes into Jay's still open arms, kissing him fervently and massaging his lips with his own. Redwing kisses Jay next, no less enthused that he is alive and well. 

The three of them are welcome to stay in LexCorp Towers. There are high end apartments in the building. But Redwing wants to take them to his room at Wayne Manor. They zeta-beam to the Batcave where they find Indigo Lantern, Star Sapphire and Red Fang strapped to the chairs they're sitting in. Red Robin, Redwing and Jayhawk can't see the screen on the Batcomputer right now, but by the look on Dickie's and the Jasons' faces, they can guess what's happening. They suddenly hear Bruce's voice as the light from the Batcomputer reflected in the room changes.

"And this is what happens when you tie restraints too tight on the penis and testes. Can anyone tell me what kind of pustules this resembles?"

When no one answers, Bruce frowns. "What about you three?" Bruce says stepping towards the zeta-tube and looking at the newcomers.

"We were just passing through," says Redwing. "And that resembles a lesion, not a pustule."

"Excellent! I see you remember," says Bruce. He turns back to his captive audience. "See, boys, when you learn the facts well, they don't go away." 

Dickie wimpers. 

"Please let it go away," mutters Red Fang. 

"Well, if that's all you need, we'll be going upstairs now," says Redwing.

"Are you sure you don't want a review? We're only four hours into it, we can start over for you."

"That's okay, B. We're gonna go have dinner."

"Okay. You may go. It's clear you remember your safe sex lessons."

"What the fuck?" says Jayhawk. "Did you actually give him hands on _'lessons'_?"

"Don't be disgusting," says Bruce. "Now, on this slide we see a pustule filled with rice-like material. Can any of you tell me what this is called?"

One look at that slide and the Tims and Jay run up the stairs gagging. When they make it out of the cave, Jay actually runs to the nearest trashcan and hurls. "I forgod aboud dad slide," says Jay, recovering from the vomiting. "Why is he like that. Why is it that in this universe where you were never Robin, three Superboys are in an incestuous relationship, there's two of Roy, Dick is a child and I'm getting boofed by Lex Luthor, B is _still_ like that?"

"He's just trying to make sure we're informed and safe because he cares about us," says Redwing. Red Robin and Jay look at him like the traitor he seems to be. "I'm just kidding! He's a total freak! But I got us out of there, didn't I?"

"And we can't thank you enough," says Red Robin. 

"I don't actually feel like eating anymore," says Jay.

"You guys want to go bone?" says Redwing. "I've got a book of threesome positions we could try out. Each of them Bat-approved."

"Are you fuckin' serious?" asks Jay.

"Yeah, he didn't want me doing any dangerous sex experiments so he got me all these books on positions and safe S&M and stuff. He can't give us shit for trying stuff out, because it's technically _his_ idea."

"Are you sure he won't just use that against us?" asks Red Robin.

"He can try, but I'm good at arguing with him."

"Then let's go take a peek at that book," says Jay with a grin.

"Let's shower first," says Red Robin. "I don't feel clean right now."

"Shower, then book sex. Anything else?" says Redwing.

"Sounds fuckin' perfect," says Jay.

 

***

 

The next day, Bruce comes in to wake Tim and his friends up. They're laying in a naked pile of limbs and torsos on the bed. 

"Wake up, boys, Tim has a surgery today."

Red Robin tenses. Bruce just found them. He's going to make them watch the slideshow!

"I'm serious, boys! Lex just called and wants to make sure everyone will be there. Up and at 'em!"

"We're up," says Redwing drowsily. "We're getting up."

"Okay. I'll give you fifteen minutes to come downstairs. After that, I'm using the airhorn."

The three of them get out of bed and brush their teeth. No time for a shower, but Redwing is certain they'll be able to do that before they go anywhere. "I didn't give Luthor my final answer yet," says Red Robin as he yawns.

"The surgery's for me," says Redwing. "I always said I never wanted the surgery because I always thought it was full-on Kryptonian or nothing. I didn't know there were middle options. I'm getting the same surgery as Jay. If nothing else, the healing factor will come in handy."

"Oh," says Red Robin. "So, I'm pretty sure that's the surgery I want too."

"Lex thinks of everything. He's probably already got the different mixtures set up for you so the doctors can be ready when you choose which surgery you're getting."

"I need to text Timmy," Red Robin thinks aloud. "We've pretty much been ignoring him while all of this has been going on."

"I'm sure Timmy's just fine, Tim," says Jay. "Young Justice said they'd take care of him."

Red Robin doesn't answer and pulls out his multiversal phone, giving Tim a quick text. Timmy says he's playing video games with Captain Marvel and eating lots of Martian-made cookies. Red Robin thinks he should probably be a little concerned about that diet and tells Timmy to eat some nuts and vegetables if he can. Timmy sends a frowny face with his 'I will'. 

The boys report downstairs where Red Fang, Indigo Lantern, Star Sapphire, Young Dick and Bruce are eating breakfast. 

"Big day, today," says Bruce. "I'm glad you're up before breakfast is all gone. It's ten-thirty."

"Thanks for the threesome Kama Sutra," says Redwing. "Came in real handy."

Red Fang, Indigo and Dickie look appalled and betrayed.

"And the condoms I bought you?" says Bruce.

"Those came in real handy too," says Redwing. 

"Good," says Bruce, "I'm glad you had fun." Bruce continues to eat while all of his children not of this universe gawk at him.

Bruce seems oblivious. 

"So I was wondering if I could visit Red Robin and Jayhawk's universe for a while," says Redwing. "Just to visit."

"I don't see a problem with it," says Bruce. "Were you invited?"

"Yes," says Jay. "We invited him."

"Good, I'd hate to think that finishing school was for nothing."

"You went to finishing school?" asks Red Robin.

"Didn't you?" asks Redwing. "I just try to act normal. Comes in handy for galas and stuff like that though."

"Did you learn to balance a book on your head?" asks Dickie.

"Yep, I could do it with five encyclopedias at a time."

"Wow," says Jay. "I didn't fuckin' expect to be turned on by that, but I am."

Red Robin punches him gently in the arm. "Weirdo."

"Do you have Luthor's number?" asks Jay. "I think both Tims want the same surgery today."

"Is this true, Red Robin?" asks Bruce.

"Yeah. Is that okay?"

"I'm sure it's fine. I'll go call Lex for you. Why don't you boys go up and shower once you've finished your breakfast." 

"So how was the slide show?" asks Jay sadistically once Bruce leaves.

"It was a fuckin' nightmare!" says Red Fang. "Is this what your Man-B is like?"

"Pretty much," Red Robin admits. 

"I'm so glad our B isn't like that," says Dickie. "You'll love her," he tells Indigo. 

"Her? I thought Bruce was a guy," says Indigo.

"Bruce is, but Bryce is a woman,' says Red Fang. "She's fuckin' awesome. She's getting married to Mama-Cat soon, so she'll be my pseudo step-mom. Might still be my mother-in-law if everything goes well."

"You two are going to get married?" asks Jayhawk.

"Well, three-way marriages are a thing where we're from, so we can get married with Indigo when we're all ready," says Dickie.

"Not quite there yet," says Indigo, "but I like the idea."

"Is it like that in your universe?" Redwing asks Red Robin and Jayhawk. 

"Nah, sounds like a good fuckin' idea though. I like it," says Jay. 

"Do you think we have time for another round before we have to go to LexCorp?" asks Redwing.

"Let's wait for Bruce to get back," says Red Robin. "I don't want to incur his wrath."

 

***

 

They do have time for another round, and to save time, they did it in the shower. Jay is particularly happy since he got to go twice, pleasing both of his men in rapid succession. 

When they get to LexCorp, both Tims are prepared for surgery and go under the knife. They're done in a couple of hours and Jay is glad both of them are in the same recovery room so he can see them both at once. 

He made sure to pick up Timmy while the other two were under so that he would be able to see his brother when he wakes up. Timmy wants the surgery too, but Lex said he has to have parental consent at Timmy's age. Tim quickly took pictures of the forms and texted them to his Batman using his multiversal phone. Bruce was highly concerned that what was supposed to be a day trip has gone on for a few days now and he's only getting a few texts here and there. The older boys haven't texted him at all, and though Timmy has been texting three times a day, he didn't really know what was going on with his brothers during all this time. And now Tim and Jay have both been in surgery, and Timmy wants surgery too. Batman isn't pleased. Timmy begs and begs though and asks Lex if he has any scientific paperwork to send Timmy's dad. Lex uploads a data pack to Timmy's phone and Timmy sends it to Bruce. In the recovery room, he takes a picture of himself and the two other Tim's and Jay to keep Batman aware that they are all safe and sound and free of bruises and scratches or other injuries.

Red Hood is there in the recovery room too, in his Red Hood gear minus the helmet. He still has a domino on, and his smile at Jay fawning over his boyfriends is kind and genuine. He's really happy his protége found someone – two someones even. He's looking forward to Redwing going out on patrol with his new powers. He's sure he'll be going out with his boyfriends when he does, but Red Hood will stay nearby, just in case. 

Soon, the Tims are cleared to leave the hospital floors of LexCorp and although they are discouraged from strenuous activity for the next twenty-four hours, Jason is sure the trio will be out patrolling Gotham tonight. He calls Bruce to let him know the doctor's orders and his suspicions and Bruce says that they are most likely healed from the surgery as anyone with X-Kryptonite would be and that the doctor's orders were likely a standard obligatory thing rather than the boys actually needing to rest. Jason agrees, but he didn't expect Bruce to. 

Nightfall comes and the boys have made it back to the Batcave where Tim, Tim, Timmy and Jay start getting ready for patrol. Bruce has arranged with Dick and Jason to be keeping an eye on them. Timmy will be patrolling with Dick and Bruce and Jason will be shadowing Tim, Tim and Jay. They won't be flying with inertrite wings tonight, but they are still getting used to their new enhancements. In light of this, Redwing is wearing a black cape with a red underside rather than his wings. His color scheme matches his boyfriends' perfectly and it will be easy for any of their enemies to identify them as on a team. 

Soon, the two teams leave the cave and go out on patrol. It isn't long before Redwing, Red Robin and Jayhawk find a lead on a greenhouse in a district of the city near the docks. When they get there, it's Poison Ivy's calling card. The roots, vines and plants are still growing as the boys get there and the top of the greenhouse is shattered with tree-like plants and vines protruding from the top. 

The boys log their location and head in to see what mischief or ecoterrorism Ivy is up to this time. They don't expect to see a young man, younger than them, with greenish skin and a green domino on. There are leaves in his black hair and he's dressed in a black and green outfit not so different from a male Poison Ivy. His face is beautiful and his muscles are well toned. Jay has to adjust himself at the sight but the Tims ready their bo-staffs and pull out their birdarangs with their free hands.

It's only then that they realize the plants around them have a familiar leaf pattern and the smell of cannabis is everywhere. Even the trees look like marijuana plants on steroids. This is an illegal marijuana operation and if they aren't careful, they'll be stoned out of their minds. 

Jay doesn't know whether the young man or their surroundings are more dangerous, but both are fairly distracting.

They also notice that the young man has a familiar face.

"Jason?"

  
*** 

  


  



	10. Hemlock

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Red Robin, Redwing and Jayhawk meet their match.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Huge thanks to TheQueenyGospels for letting me use the character Hemlock. It's a novel idea and I can't believe I never thought of it. Seriously, TheQueenyGospels, thank you. 
> 
> If you want to check out Hemlock's origins, look for _The Growth of Hemlock_.

Redwing is so confused. How many Jasons are there? This one has greenish skin and leaves in his hair. He looks a bit like Poison Ivy that way. His black and green outfit is skin-tight and shows embroidered green leaves and vines.all over. There are no sleeves and his muscular arms are very apparent. Apparently even the Jasons without firearms have guns. The new Jason lets his defensive posture relax a little.

"Tim?" asks the new Jason. "I guess you did start dating Robin in this reality. I'm disappointed but I can't say I'm surprised."

"I'm not dating Robin! That's gross. I'm dating Red Robin and Jayhawk."

"I haven't heard of either of them. I suppose that's who your current team is? The hot one and the one with the condom mask?"

"Hey!" says Red Robin. "It's not a condom!"

"Good. I'm betting that would be a little big to do you any good."

Jay is still slightly enamored with this version of himself. "Hi, I'm Jayhawk," he says in an infatuated daze. "This is Red Robin, and this is Redwing." 

"Hemlock," says the new Jason.

"Hemlock," says Jason. "You're fuckin' precious."

Hemlock blushes, changing the color green on his face. "Thanks, Jayhawk. Not so bad yourself."

"Are you kidding me?" asks Red Robin. "He's the bad guy, Jay!"

"We don't know that," says Jayhawk. To Hemlock he says, "Are you the bad guy or are you just misunderstood?"

"I'm technically a criminal, but I'm not 'bad' per say."

"You're too gorgeous to be bad," says Jayhawk.

"Holy— Jay! What the fuck?" say both Tims at once.

"Isn't he gorgeous?" says Jayhawk.

"I'm starting to like you. So what are we doing? Are we going to fight? We could just find a bong and smoke together. You know these drug dealers probably have one somewhere."

"Why are you here?" says Red Robin. "Are you planning on selling drugs?"

"Of course not," says Hemlock, taking some nearby leaves gently in his hands as if giving the plants affection. "These poor babies were being poisoned. The gang that runs this place was putting PCP in the nutrient solution. I decided to purge the poison from the plants' systems and got a little carried away helping these babies grow big and strong."

"So you must really like plants," says Jayhawk. "I like plants." Red Robin elbows him in the gut. "What? I do. They're pretty. And they make breathable oxygen as a byproduct of their cellular metabolism. We can't breathe without plants."

"What did you do?" Redwing demands from Hemlock.

"I give off pheromones and pollens naturally. They have an aphrodisiac effect and dull the senses, but about ten percent of people are immune. I guess you are, so that means this has a lot less potential to be fun."

"Define fun," says Red Robin. "Are you planning to seduce us?"

"No?" says Hemlock. It sounds like a question. "Although you two are welcome to seduce me. I think your boytoy, Jayhawk, wouldn't argue with that."

"Boyfriend, not 'boytoy'."

"It's a shame," says Hemlock. "He looks like a lot of fun to play with."

"I _am_ ," says Jayhawk. "Why don't we all find a nice spot in the shade and—"

"—Jayhawk, shut the fuck up," says Red Robin.

"Okay, clearly this doesn't have to end in a fight, so why don't you answer some questions for us and we'll all be on our way before the police arrive," says Redwing.

"Nah, let's fight!" says Hemlock. The plants around them flourish all of a sudden and sticky glittery pollen fills the air.

"Goddamn it!" says Redwing. Red Robin curses too and shortly after the boys start giggling. Hemlock disappears into the forest of marijuana and soon the trio of Bats splits up to look for him. 

Red Robin still wants to punch the guy for hitting on Jay and for the condom comment. It's a fucking _cowl_! He goes off towards the east side of the greenhouse only to be bombarded by more pollen. His healing factor was keeping the high at bay before, but now he just feels silly. And hungry. Hemlock comes out swinging and Red Robin barely has time to draw his bo-staff again and block. Hemlock must be enhanced with how fast he's moving. That or Red Robin is more stoned than he thought. That's an odd wordage. 'Stoned'. He can move. He's not made of stone. But wait! Maybe that's what Hemlock wants. Maybe he's like a T-Rex and his vision is based on movement! If Red Robin just stays very still….

A kick to the face tells Red Robin that that line of thought did not work. He isn't like a T-Rex. That's good because T-Rexes have teeth. What, does Hemlock have teeth? Red Robin doesn't remember thinking he doesn't, but maybe he just didn't notice. He feels right now that he's not noticing a lot of things. He wonders why his abs hurt and he's on the ground. _Oh yeah, motherfucker jabbed me in the gut and knocked me down! That's okay. The ground is really comfy._

Redwing is doing his best to stay alert. It's not easy and with every step he feels more and more off-balance. He holds his staff sideways so he can use it to help his balancing, like walking on a tightrope. Suddenly vines wrap around his bo-staff, trapping him. _That's okay! Limbo time!_ By the time he finishes limboing under his bo-staff, Hemlock is in front of him with a bemused expression on his face.

"I don't think I've ever seen _that_ before," says Hemlock. "You okay there, Red Robin?"

"I'm Redwing… I think. Yeah… I'm definitely Redwing. The other me is Red Robin. Did you know there's a lot of mes? And a lot of yous. Lots of Jasons. So hot. We should do this more often."

"You're not even going to fight me are you?"

"Probably. I mean, are we fighting or are we cool?"

"We're cool, stoney. Give me a kiss and we'll call it even."

"Okay," says Redwing. He puckers up and Hemlock kisses him. Hemlock could have made his kiss poisonous. It's what he wanted to do at first, but Redwing is kind of sweet. He's not all militant like Red Robin. Hemlock thinks they could've gotten together if things were different. Redwing is spoken for, but he's a hell of a kisser. When Hemlock pulls back, Redwing moves forward and captures his lips again. Hemlock allows it for a few minutes before punching him across the head and knocking him out cold.

"Cheaters never win," Hemlock says with pity.

Jayhawk is having a blast looking for Hemlock in the midst of all the cannabis. He finds one of the large trees, thinking it will help him get a good view of the greenhouse, but when he climbs it, all of the limbs and leaves of the other plants block his view.

"Looking for me?" says Hemlock from a nearby branch. 

"Why, yes. Do we have to fight? I really don't want to fight."

"What do you want to do instead?" asks Hemlock. 

"I want to go on a date. All four of us. Are you poly? I'm poly."

"Just for that, I'm not going to hit you. Seems like you're the gentleman of the three of you." Hemlock swings over by a vine and kisses Jayhawk deeply. Jayhawk's moans a sigh and gently embraces Hemlock. Hemlock helps him down from the tree to make sure Jayhawk doesn't hurt himself and lays him down on the ground. "Go to sleep, sweet prince. Maybe we'll go on that date, someday."

Jayhawk sighs contentedly, and it only takes a few breaths for him to start snoring. Hemlock, happy with his victory gives his leafed babies an extra boost of growth and leaves out the top of the greenhouse by one of the trees.

 

*** 

 

Red Hood can't help but laugh. A Poison Ivy wannabe just downed all three of the not-Robins without much of a fight. He didn't even hit Jay, he just kissed him. When Red Hood pulls them out of the greenhouse one by one, he checks their vitals and makes sure they're all fine. They are, and Red Hood calls it in to Batman and tells him to keep the Robins away from the greenhouse. Redwing, Red Robin and Jayhawk wake up soon and Red Hood takes them to one of his safehouses and orders takeout. The boys are _starving_ , and Red Hood wonders how much cannabis they ingested just by going into the greenhouse without a filter. Red Hood was just fine. His helmet has an air filter on it. Particulates like pollen are too large to get through the filter. But Red Hood took some samples, clipping a few buds for lab tests and further study and a few more for downtime. He was careful to only take the flowers and not harm the trees and plants themselves. He doesn't want to come face to face with Hemlock. Pollen is too large to get through the filters but pheromones aren't. He has a feeling that Hemlock is just as seductive as Poison Ivy and could definitely get Jason to take off his helmet. Hemlock's way too young for Jason, but that doesn't mean sex pollen and pheromones won't work on him. 

By the time take out arrives, all three stoned vigilantes are awake and aware (as it were) and asking Jason what happened.

"Well, you got your asses handed to you by a Poison Ivy clone."

"He didn't actually look like Poison Ivy. Are you sure he was a clone?" says Redwing.

"I was using 'clone' in a figurative sense. If he'd actually wanted to hurt you, he could have, but he seems to have just wanted to humiliate you instead. Lucky you."

"I'm a clone," says Red Robin. "But I'm a space-time continuum clone, not a genetic clone."

"I didn't know that about you," says Redwing.

"I think he kissed me," says Jayhawk. "He has the sweetest lips."

"Me too," says Redwing.

"Wait, I got Jurassic Park flashbacks and you guys got kissed?" says Red Robin. "So unfair. I can't even be mad at you. I want to be, but I'm not."

"Jay, are my lips sweet?" asks Redwing as he starts to dig into his noodles.

"Yeah, the sweetest," says Jay, "Except for plant boy."

"What about me?" asks Red Robin. 

"You're not a plant. You're a fruit!" says Jay.

The three of them start giggling, and Jason just smiles and shakes his head. "You guys are lucky no real supervillains showed up. For that matter, you're lucky I was there to get you out of the greenhouse. You were completely vulnerable."

"I don't feel vulnerable," says Jay. "I feel great. Am I great, you guys?"

"You are _so_ great," says Red Robin.

"Very great," says Redwing. "But we're better."

"Who's we?" asks Jay.

"Tims," says Redwing. "Tims are better than Jasons."

"Hey now," says Red Hood. "I take exception to that."

"No, you _are_ the exception to that," says Redwing. "You're the only Jason that… what was I saying?"

"Jasons are cute," says Red Robin. "Have you noticed that all Jason Todds are cute?"

"Eat your food," says Jason. "You too, Jay. Eat your noodles."

"Are noodles kind of like brains?"

"No that's just a rumor. Brain matter is more like fat than noodles," says Red Robin.

"I'm so glad they use lean meat in these noodles," says Jay. "Hey, what is this anyways?"

"It's a Thai version of broccoli beef," says Jason. 

"Oh. It tastes funny."

"Right now, everything is gonna taste funny. You're baked."

"Oh, yeah," says Jay as if he completely forgot. "Hey that guy was cute. Did you see him?"

"I've got a camera in my domino, so we probably have footage of him," says Redwing.

"Sweet," says Tim. "Show us." Redwing gets his wrist computer up and running, and his boyfriends lean over his shoulders to watch the footage. 

"Dude," says Red Robin. "He kissed you and then you kissed him back!"

"He called you a cheater," says Jay.

"That's fair," says Redwing. "I mean we all kissed him, and we're dating each other…"

"I didn't kiss him," says Red Robin.

"Really," says Jay, "why not?"

"We were fighting," says Red Robin, "Just like you guys were supposed to be fighting. We should've been apprehending him, not making out." 

"You're just jealous," says Redwing. "Maybe if you'd been nicer, he would've kissed you too."

"You know how dangerous that is?" says Red Robin, "If he has Poison Ivy's powers, he could've killed you both with a kiss."

That sobers them up a bit. 

"He wouldn't do that. Would he?" says Jay.

"We don't know anything about him," says Red Hood. "He might not be a killer, but if he is, tonight was extremely dangerous. Frankly, I think if he was a killer he would have roughed you three up a bit or just got down to it. But he didn't, which makes me think that he either likes more of a challenge or just didn't want to hurt you." 

"I told him we should all go on a date," says Jay. "The four of us."

Jason sighs, and Red Robin rubs his temples. Then Red Robin rubs the bridge of his nose. "Another villain comes along and you immediately want us to date him," says Red Robin. 

"Yeah. We should totally ask him out," says Redwing.

"Let's make sure he's not a killer first," says Red Robin. "Then, maybe."

"Yay!" cheers Jay, "We're gonna ask Marijuana Boy on a date."

"Hemp. I think his name was Hemp," says Redwing.

"His name is Hemlock," says Red Robin.

"That's a good name," says Jay. "Way better than Poison Ivy."

"Dude!" says Redwing all of a sudden. "You guys wanna watch cartoons?!"

Jason laughs. "I think I've got _Carebears in Wonderland_ around here somewhere," says Jason.

"Why?" asks Red Robin.

"Because shut up, that's why," says Jason.

"You like hats?" asks Jay. "I'm mad about hats!"

"Oh my God! You are the biggest dork ever. Of all time," says Red Robin.

"Bigger than Jason Todd, the Carebears fanatic."

"I'm not a fanatic," says Jason. "I just happen to have one DVD. I have the first season of _She-Ra_ too, but that doesn't make me a fanatic."

"Why?" says Redwing. "Why do you have _She-Ra_?"

"Because I like the sword."

"You have _He-Man_ too, don't you?"

"In that one, I like the sword, the tiger and the castle."

"Jesus Christ," says Red Robin. "I feel like we're learning a lot about you. Are we going to find out you like other cartoons?"

"Who doesn't like cartoons?" says Jason. 

"Can we watch _He-Man_?" asks Jay.

"It's at a different safehouse. Besides, I don't want you to stroke out at the special effects," says Jason. "Technically, I'm still watching you for any abnormal behavior and I don't know what kind of problem psychedelic visuals will cause. We still haven't tested the marijuana out for any unusual side effects."

"These noodles are really good," says Redwing.

"I'm glad you like them," says Jason. "They're from my favorite Thai restaurant on this side of the tracks."

"So once we're done being high or whatever, we can go home?" asks Jay.

"Sure, but it won't be 'til morning," says Jason, "I'm gonna stay up all night to keep an eye on you. I've got some portable remote vital monitors here, so if you flatline, I'll hear it right away. Get your cuddles in now, because I need you to sleep separate for the monitors to work."

Jay immediately pulls Red Robin into his lap and snuggles against Redwing's side. "Hey, I was still eating," says Red Robin. 

"So eat. I don't mind, Baby," says Jay. 

Soon, they've all had their fill of food (Jason ordered a _lot_ ) and go to bed in separate rooms, remote monitored. Jason is drinking his fourth cup of coffee when one of the monitors flatlines. Jay's room! He runs in to see Jay missing. Oh, he just got up is all. He hears the toilet flush in the hall bathroom and goes back to the kitchen. Soon, the flatline stops and the heartbeats start up again in Jay's room. 

It's a long night, but by morning, everyone is still okay and Jason calls Bruce to let him know they all lived through the night.

 

*** 

 

The Batcomputer doesn't have any files on Hemlock but another multiversal portal was opened up at the docks yesterday afternoon. That's probably how he got to this reality. Jason goes over the footage on Redwing's wrist computer and doesn't see anything that screams red flag. Poison Ivy is usually somewhat reasonable unless she's crossed, and Hemlock doesn't seem too different. For him, this appears to have been some kind of game. _He's getting the lay of the land, like I did with the Kryptonite when I first came out as Red Hood._

After that, Jason starts researching everything they know about Poison Ivy's condition. Her cellular makeup is unusual. She has unique healing capabilities connected to her ability to synthesize plant and herb chemicals in her blood and her unusually high WBC count. Her immunity to diseases, toxins, fungi and other such things helps her stay in good health and her enhanced flexibility, reflexes, strength and speed help her avoid injury. The most unusual thing about her is her ability to commune with plants. It's what's at the root of her florakinetic abilities, but it runs deeper than some form of psionics. She actually communicates with plants and shares their sentiments and minds like an empath. There are loads of studies that suggest plants can react to intention as much as they do to sunlight or temperature and anticipate damage, reacting with what some may call fear, giving us the proof that plants have some form of mind. If Isely wasn't so firmly dedicated to her ecoterrorism, her abilities could push botany forward by a hundred years in just a couple of decades. 

Hemlock's aspirations are unknown. Red Hood knows he should just leave the kid alone, but his curiosity and his drive to discover more about the new rogue before he becomes a problem push him forward to figure this kid out. To be fair, he's probably only four years or so younger than Jason, but to Jason those are a distinctive four years. A sixteen-year-old is still a kid to him. 

Hemlock likely needs to make sure he gets plenty of sunlight, so theoretically, satellites should be able to find him unless he's using artificial sunlight from certain kinds of light bulbs. Jason uses satellite feeds to try to track him and finds that the rogue went to a train station after leaving the greenhouse last night. Security cameras show he's still there, basking in sunlight through the skylight of Platform 9. He doesn't appear to be waiting for a train but ticket sales show he bought a ticket for downtown Gotham under the name Jason Peter Todd. _Huh, guess he is me,_ thinks Red Hood. The Gotham train ticket isn't for until after sunset. He decides he needs to bring the kid in for questioning. Or at the very least, question him there at the train station. Maybe a show of good faith will go a ways with this guy. He decides to bring a potted plant to help win him over. Hopefully, the kid just wants a way to get home.

 

*** 

 

"Fabrication's done early!" says Redwing when he gets the call. "Your new suits are ready."

Jay lets out a whoop, and Red Robin pumps his fist. "Let's go to the cave," says Jay. "I'm ready to try out my new suit. Vibranium-town, here I come!"

"I also took the liberty of getting you shock-sticks. They're escrimas with tasers. I hope you like them. For Tim I had a retractable bo-staff with tasers made. I figure it might save some time and make your fights a little more in your favor."

"Thanks, Sweetie," says Red Robin. "That was very thoughtful of you."

Redwing blushes a little. "Let's go," he says. "The suits will arrive shortly at the service entrance."

When the suits get there, Red Robin is pleasantly surprised. The bird on the chest of his red uniform is red instead of black and has a black outline. He'd asked for a black one, but felt weird about being Red Robin with a black bird on his uniform. Apparently, Redwing figured out a solution he didn't. Jayhawk's uniform is similar, a black bird outlined in red over a black background. The shapes of the birds are identical, sleek and sharp. In some ways, they almost resemble slightly more bird-like birdarangs – not the circle ones, but the thin ones with spread wings. The backs of their suits have bird-like designs as well, nearly identical to the front but the backs of those birds instead of the undersides. They both have skin-tight gauntlet gloves and boots and the uniforms themselves are pretty form-fitting but flexible and stretchy. The material is thicker than either of them are used to and they can tell it's built to last. They have two sets of utility belts and utility bandoliers, too. One set for without wings, and one set that will connect with the inertrite wings like a harness. Jay's utility belts are black with red piping on the pockets and Tim's are the same. The reds of the uniforms and accessories are dark, like a blood red with shading, but not quite burgundy or rust. The black of the uniforms is a flat obsidian, almost striking in the daylight, but perfect for blending into the shadows at night. Red Robin also has a cape, but no cowl. The cape is infused with vibranium and is red on the inside and black on the back, matching his uniform perfectly. They also have four new dominos each – you guessed it: infused with vibranium – and a type of nanotechnology adheres the masks to their skin without the need for sticky material and without the risk of the masks falling off. Two masks are roundish about the eyes, covering the tops of their cheekbones to the bottom of their foreheads. One in red and one in black. The other two are more dynamic looking, the bird design from their chests overlaying a vaguely batlike design, giving eight points total to masks, two from the bat and one from the bird on each side and the head of the bird pointing up from the nose while the tail of the bird points down onto the bridge. They each have one mask with a black bird and a red bat and one vice versa. The birds of the mask have wings that go over the tops of the eyes and eyebrows with pointed wrist joints over the insides of the eyebrows and pointed wing tips that protrude from the sides, curving down a bit (but not much) at the tips. The bats of the masks have point above the outsides of the eyes and below them, framing the temples and cheekbones perfectly. The masks are form fitted to their faces thanks to the nanotech.

Red Robin and Jayhawk immediately try their uniforms on, extremely pleased. They wear masks that match the birds on their chests and immediately decide to spar in their new outfits. Between their Kryptonite enhancements and their vibranium uniforms all of the hits on each other are practically painless and they get more and more intense until they're making out on the mats, taking a break from all the exertion.

Just to try them out, though not to actually use, they try the inertrite wings on with their gear and take pictures of each other using their multiversal phones and sending their pictures to Bruce and their friends. Timmy is particularly envious of the new uniforms but very happy for them. 

Jayhawk and Red Robin are ready for anything and can't wait to go on patrol tonight.

 

*** 

 

When Red Hood approaches Hemlock, he seems to be asleep, laying in the sun on a bench in the station. Red Hood is in his vigilante gear, helmet at home, but domino on. His domino has points on either side at the top but are round on the bottom. He's wearing the body armor that has a red bat on it, the bat identical to Batman's. He's wearing a gray leather jacket, similar to the brown one he normally wears, but the brown one's his favorite and if he has to burn a jacket to get rid of the toxins or pheromones on it, he'd rather it not be his favorite. Just as he's about to speak to Hemlock, seemingly to wake him up, Hemlock speaks.

"I haven't done anything wrong yet. You have no reason to arrest me."

"I'm a drug lord in charge of the entire Crime Alley and most of Gotham criminal underground. I'm not here to arrest you. Here." Red Hood hands Hemlock a small potted plant. The florist said it was rare, but Red Hood doesn't actually know if it's true. Hemlock accepts the gift graciously.

"Thank you. But why are you giving this to me?"

"I want you on my side. I'm not trying to recruit you or anything, but I want us to be on good terms. The florist said it was rare."

"It is. Thanks. I'll have to find a place to care for it. Maybe in a park. I really just want to go home."

"I figured as much. Lost in another reality?"

"Something like that. Recently, my mum died, and I found a multiversal device. I used it to come here so I could find my mum of this world. She means everything to me. I don't really have anyone else."

"Is your mum Pamela Isely?"

"Yeah. What's it to you?"

"There are worse criminals, but the one here isn't soft like you. She doesn't have a kid either, so motherhood never changed her into a caring person. I doubt the one of this world would want you."

"Why are you telling me this?"

"So that you're prepared if she turns you away. It's clear your mum loved you very much. But the Ivy of this world isn't your mum, even if she is an analog. If she rejects you, you still have me. I wanted to ask you some questions, but that can wait if you want."

"Please."

"Okay. Just remember you're not alone here. I'm Red Hood, the Jason of this universe."

"I'm Hemlock, the Jason of my universe."

"I know. Look, here's my number. Call it if you need food or a ride or just someone to talk to. I'm not always available, but I'll make time for you."

"Thanks. I guess I'll see you around?*

"Yeah. See you around, kid."

As Red Hood walks away, Hemlock can't help but think, _That's what she called me. 'Kid'._

 

*** 

 

Hemlock can't believe his luck. The labs are in the same places, and he finds Poison Ivy in the first one he checks. His passcode doesn't work to get in, but he knows hers, and _it works_!! As he's entering the front room, Ivy comes out of the lab, an enraged look on her face. 

"Just who the hell are you?!" demands Ivy, "Do you know where you are?! Do you know who I am?!"

"This is going to sound really weird, but I'm from another universe where you're my mum. I don't have anyone else to turn to," says Hemlock, pleadingly.

"Well, find someone else!" snaps Ivy. "I'm not your mother, and I'm not going to put up with this interruption. I'm doing important work here."

"I can help! I'm like you!" Hemlock says. "You taught me everything I know, and I have the same condition, the same powers."

"You're not like me, kiddo," says Ivy darkly. "You might have the same condition, but I don't put up with imposters."

"I'm not an imposter! I'm telling the truth!" says Hemlock, now panicked.

"I believe you, but I'm not your mother, and I'm not going to be. Leave now or so help me God, I will turn you into fertilizer!"

Hemlock openly weeps, but Ivy points demandingly at the door. Knowing it's best not to anger his mum, especially a version of her that doesn't know him, he walks sullenly towards the door. "I'm sorry for disturbing you," he says meekly. "I hope we can be friends someday."

"Don't hold your breath," says Ivy menacingly. "Out!"

Hemlock leaves, completely crushed. He goes to the nearest payphone and calls the only other person he knows in this reality. Himself.

 

***

 

Red Hood is in the middle of busting some child pornographers. They're all beaten to bloody pulps, and he's about to pull out his knife to start the real torture. 

Then his phone rings. He puts his knife away and answers the phone. "This better be important!" he barks.

"Mr. Hood? It's Hemlock. I don't… can you come pick me up? I need to talk to you." The kid is obviously crying and trying unsuccessfully to hold back sobs. Red Hood's voice takes on a softer tone, compassionate and gentle.

"Of course, Kid. Just tell me where you are."

"I'm at the corner of 16th Avenue and Callahan."

"Fuck," says Red Hood. "That's a dangerous neighborhood. Go up to a nearby roof to wait for me, you understand? Don't stay on the streets."

"I understand."

"Good, give me fifteen– no, make it twenty minutes. I'll be there, Kid. Just hang tight."

"Okay," says Hemlock, still sobbing but starting to calm down. "Thank you."

Red Hood hangs up the phone.

"Looks like it's your lucky day," says Red Hood to the child pornographers. "I don't have time to torture you properly."

"Does that mean you're going to let us go?" asks one hopeful man that's already shit his pants twice.

"No. You're too fucking horrible. You're pieces of filth that don't deserve to live. But it'll be relatively quick." With that, he starts taking off their pants and binding their hands and ankles behind their backs. He cuts off their dicks first, gagging them with them and promising more pain if they let them fall. He carves the words 'child molester' and 'pedophile' across their faces. They men aren't bleeding out fast enough, so he slits their throats and leaves them in the alley for the police to find. Red Hood is a sick man, but he's the kind of sick that keeps truly sick men from ever being a danger again. They will never hurt another child, and though Red Hood doesn't relish the gore, he relishes bringing them pain and justice. In his mind, he was too merciful for that kind of scum.

He ditches the knife in a sewer because it could be carrying diseases at this point, and he hurries to find Hemlock. If Hemlock was hurt while Red Hood was finishing with the pervs, he will never forgive himself.

 

*** 

 

Hemlock is waiting on a rooftop, looking out at the city and wondering what will happen to him. There's nothing for him here now. Coming to this reality was a mistake, but there was nothing left for him in his own reality. Even Stray had abandoned him in the wake of his mother's demise. He waits patiently for Red Hood and witnesses a couple of muggings. Normally he would interfere, but Red Hood told him to stay put and he's too broken to disobey at this point. He doesn't want to blow his only chance at having another person in his life. He doesn't want to go back to being Jason Todd, street rat, selling his body to have food in his stomach. Ivy saved him from that and he'll be damned if he lets her efforts to make him somebody be in vain. 

A motorcycle pulls up beneath him, at the corner where the pay phone is. A red helmet covers the head of the rider, and he hears Red Hood's voice call, "It's safe to come out now!".

Hemlock descends the stairs of the fire escape quickly as Red Hood pulls an extra helmet from a saddle bag. Hemlock takes the offered helmet and puts it on, briskly hopping on the bike behind Red Hood and holding on tight. Red Hood turns around and shrugs off his jacket, giving it to Hemlock to keep him warm.

They take off into the night, and half an hour later they're at _the freakin' Batcave!!_

Batman is there when they arrive. Jason insists that they run tests on Hemlock to study his biology and make antidotes to any toxins he gives off naturally. Hemlock agrees and several samples – including cheek swabs, sweat and blood samples – are taken. 

While the samples are being processed and antidotes synthesized, Hemlock and Red Hood talk.

"I don't know where to start," says Hemlock.

"Wherever you want to," says Red Hood.

"I don't have anywhere to go," says Hemlock. "I have no family, no money, no clothes other than what I'm wearing… I don't want to go back to being a street urchin but I have nothing and nobody."

"You have me, Kid," says Red Hood. "We'll get you some clothes and food, and you can stay at one of my safehouses. I'll check in on you at least once a day and get you a burner phone. We'll get through this." Hemlock starts crying again, this time, with relief. Red Hood puts an arm across his shoulders and lets the kid cry for a while. 

"Are you hungry?" asks Red Hood.

"I could really go for a salad and some fruit," says Hemlock. 

"I'll be right back." Red Hood goes upstairs to the kitchen and quickly makes a salad with lettuce, tomato, celery, radishes, strawberries, blueberries, blackberries, banana slices, a little bit of shredded cheese and a tiny bit of olive oil. He fixes some nuts as a side dish and brings to food down to Hemlock who begins to eat as soon as he's given the food. His manners are impeccable, and he doesn't spill a single particle of food. He doesn't stop eating until he's finished his food and only then does he stop to talk.

"Thank you. That was delicious," says Hemlock.

"You're welcome," says Red Hood. Red Hood takes the dishes and leaves them on a table by the Batcomputer where Alfred is sure to find them if Red Hood doesn't take care of it first. "Are you feeling any better," asks Red Hood.

"Yeah. The food helped a lot."

"Good. Now, I'm not sure what you want to do first, but we can get you some clothes and a place to stay today. Why don't we start with the basics? You need a phone, so let's start there. Then we'll go shopping so you can get some clothes."

"Okay. Thanks, you don't have to do all this."

"Yeah, I do. You're practically my little brother. I'm sure Jayhawk and the Reds will be happy to see you too."

"You know Jayhawk?" asks Hemlock. "I didn't know that. I guess, come to think of it, we're in the Batcave and they're Bats. It just hasn't occurred to me."

"Yeah, I'll introduce you formally later," says Red Hood. "Do you want anymore food?"

"I'm okay for now."

"Okay. Don't be afraid to tell me if you need something."

"Where are we going to get me a phone?"

"I've got some spare burner phones at my safehouses. I'll swing by one. I want you to stay here and not get into trouble. Think you can manage that for half an hour?"

"Yeah, I can manage."

"No exploring the cave. Just chill here. I'll be back as soon as I can."

Red Hood gets back on his motorcycle and leaves the cave. Hemlock is wondering what he should do while he's waiting. It's easy to get lost in thought, but he'd rather be doing something to distract himself. At least once he has a phone, he can play Angry Birds or something. The Batman is still around, so Hemlock decides to ask him about getting a shower.

"Hi, Batman, I was wondering if you could tell me where I could get a shower."

"I'll show you to the locker room. There's a shower in there." Batman leads him to an alcove of the cave that turns into a tunnel. The tunnel isn't very long and it leads to what looks a bit like an armory. Uniforms are on display and there are stacks of sweat suits on a shelf near the entrance to the showers. Hemlock showers quickly and when he gets out, his uniform is gone, so he puts on a pair of sweats that are sitting out for him. When he goes back out to the cave, Batman is sitting at the Batcomputer, facing away from Hemlock. "Your clothes are being washed," Batman says without turning around. Hemlock supposes that's okay. They need to be washed at this point. 

"Can I ask you something?" says Hemlock.

"What is it?" says Batman, turning to face him.

"When you find a cure for my toxins, will you give it to Jayhawk? I want to get to know him without my biochemistry getting in the way."

Batman grunts. "We'll all be inoculated. It's standard protocol."

"Oh. Okay, good. Thanks."

"Hemlock."

"Yeah?"

"What are your intentions here in Gotham?"

"To survive."

"We'll make sure you're taken care of. I don't want you turning to a life of crime to make ends meet. I don't want you committing crimes at all."

"I got it. You know, you're a lot scarier than the Batman of my universe. He's kind of a joke. You're downright menacing."

"I'm sorry. I'm not trying to be."

"That makes you even _scarier_."

"Do you go to school?"

"I did. Graduated early."

"We'll have to get some papers ready for you if you stay in this universe." 

"What do you mean 'if I stay'?"

"Jayhawk and Red Robin are from a different universe. Red Fang and Star Sapphire are from another one. You may choose to go with them when they go home if they welcome you." 

"That's why there are three of us? Jasons, I mean."

"There's Red Fang, Indigo Lantern, Jayhawk, Red Hood and you. That's five."

"That's a lot of Jasons. How many Tims are there?"

"Enough questions. I have work to do." Batman pulls out Tim's multiversal phone and texts the Bruce of Jayhawk's universe. Soon, he gets a reply text and Batman grunts his approval. He thought his counterpart might think the same way as him. He sends over the specs for the inoculations in case they're needed and goes to the lab to inoculate himself. 

Jayhawk, Red Hood and Redwing arrive next. It's just a midnight check-in before they go back out on patrol. Batman quickly herds them into the lab to get their shots. He closes the soundproof door to the lab behind him and locks it. 

"Hemlock is homeless. Red Hood says there's nothing for him in his original universe and that he doesn't like this one. Your Bruce agreed to take him in if need be, but that requires you to have good judge of character. If he doesn't go home with you, Red Hood has agreed to provide for and look out for him. Do you understand?"

They mumbles their 'yes sir's, and Batman is surprised the the Tims don't have more questions. Batman quickly inoculates the three of them and opens the door for everyone to go out into the cave. 

Jayhawk is the first to greet Hemlock, kissing his hand like a gentleman and inviting him to go on patrol with them. Red Robin doesn't think that's a good idea, but Redwing is in favor of it and Batman doesn't interfere. It would be a good way to test the newcomer, both in his abilities and in his allegiance. He knows Red Hood will be following closely, so he isn't worried about the boys getting hurt. Especially since all four of them have accelerated healing factors and Red Hood's practically Kryptonian. 

Soon, Hemlock is joking and laughing with Red Robin, Redwing and Jayhawk and they seem to be getting along great when Red Hood arrives with a cell phone and some clothes for Hemlock. Not long after that, Hemlock's uniform is cleaned and ready for him to wear again. He changes in the locker room and comes out in his seductive green and black outfit. 

"You are gonna make me fuckin' cream my pants, sexy!" says Jayhawk.

Red Robin elbows him. 

"What, Prettyboy? Tell me you don't want to cream on his face."

Red Robin turns red in the face and mutters, "Walked right into that one."

Hemlock just grins. "Even without my powers, I got you hooked. Good to know. I like you guys too."

Once they're ready to go back out on patrol, Hemlock says, "Is this kind of like our first date?"

"Sure," says Red Robin, surprising Redwing and Jayhawk. "If you're good then you can have kisses at the end of the date."

"And if I'm naughty?" says Hemlock mischievously.

"Then you lose your chances with us."

Hemlock's face drops. "Oh. That's not quite what I meant, but okay. I'm sorry."

"Good," says Red Robin, earning looks from his partners. "You're on probation right now. You want this to work? You have to be part of the team." 

Hemlock looks chastised, but he quickly perks up. "You can count on me."

"I hope we can," says Red Robin. "We're just running a normal patrol tonight. Stopping crimes, not solving them. Everyone ready?"

His team gives their assent and they head out of the Batcave, followed by Red Hood.

 

***

  


  



	11. Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The guys go on their first patrol with Hemlock. The morning brings another first.
> 
> Also, a surprising duo comes to take Red Fang and Star Sapphire home.

Tim didn't expect to like Hemlock as much as he does. The boy has been taking instruction seriously and keeping everyone's spirits light. _It may be that his natural charm is stronger than his pheromones and toxins_ , Tim realizes. Being immune and without the aphrodisiac effects from the get go, Tim can't really tell. 

Hemlock had been playing follow the leader a lot, waiting for one of the Bats to shoot a grapple before he shoots his own and waiting for one of the Bats to interfere in a mugging before he lets himself be known. They've stopped six muggings and an attempted murder. Hemlock is ever playful, just like a Robin and not that different from Jay. He continues to flirt with his three teammates rather conspicuously and even one of the thugs makes a pass at him, not knowing Hemlock has limited his interest to the three that fight beside him. Besides, the thug was like thirty-something and Hemlock, as it turns out, is barely legal at seventeen. Age difference isn't a big deal but going after someone who would be a minor in another state is highly questionable – especially since Hemlock looks a decent bit younger, in his comrades opinions, and the thug had no way of knowing he was legal. It's different with his teammates either being his age or slightly older, none of them old enough to drink. Red Robin still feels like a creeper for even considering dating Hemlock, but at least he is less than three years older. He doesn't know if the thug hitting on Hemlock makes him feel better or worse about that, but he finds it extremely satisfying when Hemlock tells the thug to go fuck himself and kicks him in the face.

Now, they're going for a takedown of a drug ring that has been selling to kids. Normally, Red Hood would take care of this himself, but he wants to give them a chance to fly. Lucky for them, the ring is meeting in a conservatory basement between two buildings. The combination of the plants and the urban setting gives all four of them an advantage, especially since they aren't out with their wings tonight. 

Around the time they get there, they find a homeless tester checking the drugs for poisons. The drug lords put a batch in front of him, he does a line and when he doesn't die, they repackage it and put another batch in front of him. Red Hood is going in from one of the side buildings' basements. He won't interfere immediately, but he'll be close if he needs to be. Hemlock is going in through the other building's entrance to the conservatory, and Redwing is going in through a hatch at the end of the alley that leads to the boiler room of the conservatory. Jayhawk and Red Robin are standing by to drop in through the skylight. 

Redwing makes the first move, giving Hemlock a distraction so he can get into position. He quickly draws fire and uses his staff to take down three opponents before one of them gets a lucky shot in. By then, Hemlock is using the surrounding foliage to grow vines and trees, entrapping several of the gang members with the botanical bonds. When Red Robin and Jayhawk see Redwing bleeding from the neck, they crash through the skylight. Hemlock takes advantage of the distraction to take out three more armed gang members with gymnastics and martial arts moves as good as any Red Robin's done. Jayhawk and Red Robin split up in the conservatory, Jayhawk going after the last two gang members and Red Robin going to Redwing and putting pressure on the wound. After a good look, it seems like he was grazed rather than actually shot. There's no bullet in the wound, but it's bleeding pretty bad. Once all the gang members are cuffed, Red Hood comes out.

"Good work. Run along home now. Get Redwing some medical attention and make your reports. I can take it from here."

"Okay," says Jayhawk. "Thanks."

"You sure you don't want one of us to stay behind?" asks Red Robin.

"Hemlock's still on probation and Redwing is wounded. I'm not leaving one of you to babysit the both of them on the way back. Go."

They get going, and Red Hood starts interrogating criminals. The only reason he isn't killing them is because the others took them down first. When he's done interrogating them he calls the cops with an anonymous tip and leaves a note. 

 

*** 

 

Bruce looks around the Lion's Den in disgust. It's all too dark and macabre for his taste and there's an unpleasant smell of… is that _guano?_ The Catmobile looks awful. He loves cars and if it wasn't a gothic mockery of his own, he would think it's pretty sweet. But it is a mockery of his car. It has the _muscles_ over the wheels, but they aren't even shaped like panther paws. They're just plain, like someone tried to make a cheap imitation. Bruce hisses in disgust, and screeching bats fly around the cavern's roof in a frightened response to the sound.

Selina is with him, rather pleased with the ambience. Of course she is. Bruce goes to the Catcomputer to find it very similar to his own. This may be a heavily divergent universe, but some things are the same. He bypasses the security on it and begins his search. 

"You know, we could just go upstairs and see if they're in the manor," says Selina. "Ten to one says they already found the Bruce of this world."

"We can't just walk around like we own the place, Batress. There could be traps around every corner. We must be _most_ vigilant."

"Whatever you say, Catman." Selina starts exploring the bat-themed Lion's Den and giggles and coos at everything new she sees. "This place feels like home. Maybe we should redecorate your place."

"Don't be batty. This entire setup is absurd. _Ah-hah!_ Red Fang underwent surgery here. I swear if these monsters here did anything to hurt him, there will be retribution!"

"Relax, Catman. Your blood pressure."

"My blood pressure has never been a problem."

"No, but it will be if the vein on your forehead keeps doing that thing. Does it say what kind of surgery he had?"

"No, but I can hack the hospital's files from here. If we can find Red Fang, then we can find Star Sapphire. If we bring them home, Bryce might be able to sleep at night. Good thing she's sending us instead of risking her other two boys, right Selina?" When she doesn't answer, he looks up and doesn't see her. He jumps up from his seat at the Catcomputer and darts around the Lion's Den. "SELINA!"

"MAMA BAT!!" screams a familiar voice. Glowing pink and lavender sparkles light up the stairs of the Lion's Den as Star Sapphire embraces Selina on just this side of the clock. 

Dickie princess carries her down to Bruce while sparkling and flying. He sets her gently on the ground and says, "Be right back, Man-B!"

"What have I told you about calling me that?" says Bruce.

Dickie returns shortly after, carrying Red Fang in his arms and closely followed by an Indigo Lantern. Another Jason. 

"I can fly now, Dickiebird, you don't have to carry me anymore."

"I feel naked without you in my arms, Snickerdoodle! Besides, how am I supposed to pay you back for all the rides if I don't carry you?"

"Oh, I'll think of something," says Red Fang. "Hey, Indigo, want to help me find ways to keep Dickie on his toes?"

"Not in front of whoever they are," says Indigo Lantern.

"Oh, where are our manners?" exclaims Dickie, "Indigo Lantern, this is Batress and Catman. Man-B, Selina, this is our pumpkin, Indigo Lantern."

"He's adorable," coos Selina. "Are you keeping him?"

"Of course we are! We can't go home without our pumpkin!"

"Yeah, Indigo Me is a fuckin' gymnast in bed. Gives Dickie a run for his money."

"Guys, stop," says Indigo. "You're embarrassing me."

Red Fang prowls over to him and gives a long lick across his face.

"So are you ready to go?" asks Catman. 

"Hold on old man," says Red Fang. "We've got some stuff to take home with us. Gimme ten minutes. Dickiebird, you get the stuff upstairs and I'll collect our things from the cave."

Jason gets to work grabbing their extra suits and his new whip, along with his recently bestowed vibranium claws. Man-Bruce went all out on outfitting his alternate universe children. 

Dickie comes back with a backpack in tow and does a double take. "Jayhawk and Red Robin aren't back from patrol yet! We just _have_ to say bye to them!"

"No time," says Catman. "Our instructions are to bring you home as safe and as quickly as possible."

"Oh, come on Brucie," says Selina. "I'm sure it won't be that long. Will it, fellas?"

Right on cue, Red Robin, Redwing, Jayhawk and Hemlock all walk into the Batcave from the outside entrance. They come to an abrupt halt when they see _Bruce_ in a male Catwoman suit. It's wheat gold and has three claw marks over the chest where the Batman symbol usually is. Hemlock looks confused. 

"It's almost Valentine's Day, not Halloween. Why is Batman dressed like Catwoman?"

Bruce chokes on nothing. 

"Oh come on Man-B!" says Red Fang, "You know Selina's Catwoman in our universe."

"I think he wasn't prepared to be called Batman," says Selina. "Bryce is the only Batman he's ever met."

" _Bryce?_ " says Hemlock.

"We'll explain later," says Red Robin. "Will you take Redwing to medical and work your magic on him?"

"Sure thing, boss," says Hemlock.

"Oh, and Hemlock," says Red Robin, grabbing Hemlock's arm and pulling him into an embrace. "You earned that kiss." He kisses Hemlock passionately before suddenly letting go to approach Star Sapphire and Red Fang. Just when Hemlock thinks he's got his bearings again, Jayhawk kisses him deeply and moans. Redwing's next and Hemlock can't believe he got so lucky.

"Earned kisses, huh?" says Red Fang as he leers suggestively. 

"Yeah, he was on his best behavior," says Red Robin as Hemlock helps Redwing to medical. "This was sort of a first date."

"All _four_ of you?!" says a startled Catman. 

"Relax, precious," says Selina. "It's not near as disturbing as the Rainbow Quiver." 

Catman shudders.

"We've got to go home, boys." says Dickie. "We're going to miss you so much!" He hugs Jayhawk tightly and then Red Robin. Red Fang and Indigo Lantern follow suit, but Red Fang gives Jayhawk's butt a light squeeze which results in the two of them bursting with laughter. 

"That was a good one, Catboy!" says Jay, wiping a tear from his eye.

"It takes a real man to appreciate my humor," says Red Fang. "Sorry for touchin' your man, Red, but it was worth the laugh." 

Apparently, it was an inside joke, because no one else got it. But the way they found it humorous rather than sexy gives Tim and Dickie an air of comfort. 

"Oh and Jay? Don't call me Catboy."

Catman speaks up, "You know, in my world, you _are_ Catboy."

"Shut up, old man," says Jason, and Indigo Lantern, Red Fang and Star Sapphire gather close to Batress and Catman and the five of them disappear into a portal that quickly blinks out of existence.

"I hope they went home to the right universe," says Jayhawk. Red Robin decides to make sure of it. He pulls out his multiversal phone and texts Dickie. 

_'Let us know you got home safe to your universe.'_

"Okay, I texted and hopefully we'll here from them soon." No sooner does he say that than his phone chimes. The reply messages are: 

_'omg! Alfreida made cookies!'  
'Ya, were home safe. U let us know when UR home safe 2.'_

"They got home," says Red Robin, relieved.

"When do we go home?" asks Jay. "Don't get me wrong. I love it here. And I'm really grateful we made this side trip, but I want to get Timmy and Redwing and go home today."

"We'll see. I'm sure Red Hood will give me my stuff back from Luthor's safe. That's where my batarang of love is. We should be able to use it to go back to our family. I know Bruce is probably having a cow every day we don't come home."

"Probably more cows every day," says Jay. "Do you want to call him?"

"In the middle of the night? It can wait a few hours until morning. Let's go check on Redwing." 

 

*** 

 

When Red Hood gets in, he checks on the visitors and Redwing. Everyone's asleep in Tim's room, piled on each other like puppies. When he reviews the footage of their return, he sees that Star Sapphire, Red Fang and Indigo Lantern have already left and damn if he doesn't want to make Bruce a Catman suit just for the hell of it. 

When he hears Jay say he wants to go home, something hurts in his chest. He's not ready to lose them. Red Hood is sad to see them go. He knows they have to go home sometime, but he wasn't ready for it to be so soon. It all started with Red Robin teleporting into Lex's bedroom and catching him in flagrante delicto, but now that he knows them, he's tempted to just kidnap them to keep them around. It crosses his mind that yes, he could conceivably do that, but they have a family of their own that is missing them. Otherwise, he might just keep them. They could have everything they want here and between Lex and Bruce, they'd never do without. But that's not what they want. Red Hood kicks himself, half wishing he was a better man and half wishing he was a worse man. A better man would only care about their happiness and not worry about his own. A worse man would keep them for his own comfort no matter what they want. He's the one who always told Bruce that not everything is black and white, that there are gray areas, and not for the first time, he laments that he lives in them. 

He goes home to LexCorp to get Red Robin's stuff and bring it back to the cave. He takes his gadgets out of the safe and his gear from the bottom of Roy's hamper and puts it all in a spare backpack to take to them at the manor. He doesn't know if they'd leave without saying goodbye like Red Fang did, and Clark is with Lex in bed, so he zeta beams to the Batcave and spends the rest of the night drinking coffee and cleaning their new gear for them. Probably best if they wear the wings on their trip home, but the rest of their stuff, including their old suits, can fit in carrying cases. 

Red Hood wipes the tears from his eyes when he realizes they're falling. He just met Hemlock. Just grew to care for him. Will he leave too? Just in case, he cleans Hemlock's suit and runs by one of his safehouses to get a present for the kid. He doesn't know what became of the potted plant he gave him but seeds won't be lost as easily. Once he has thirty seeds of varying strains in a tiny pouch, he travels back to the cave and puts the pouch in Hemlock's utility belt along with a tiny note. 

 

*** 

 

When Jayhawk wakes up, he's spooning Redwing who's facing Hemlock and the two have their arms wrapped around each other. Red Robin is on Hemlock's other side, spooning him with his arms reaching over Hemlock to Redwing who by far has the most hands on him. Jay sighs contentedly and nestles in closer, putting his arm over Red Robin's and loosely holding his forearm in his hand. He's just starting to drift off to sleep when Hemlock suddenly gets up and runs to the bathroom, waking everyone up in the process.

"I'm awake," says Red Robin. "I'm awake." His eyes aren't opening all the way and his speech is slightly slurred. Jay scoffs.

"You ain't awake, Prettyboy. You need coffee for that." Then to Redwing he says, "How about you, Timbo? You need coffee?"

"Hhhh-hnnng."

"Okay, I'll go make sure some is ready. Don't uh, _deflower_ Hemlock until I get back."

The Tims give their respective grunts of consent and Jayhawk heads downstairs to make sure coffee is ready. When he gets to the kitchen, Alfred looks up from where he's making a breakfast fruit salad to go with the hash browns, sausage, eggs and waffles he's making. 

"Ah, I presume the Masters Timothy need their coffee?" says Alfred. Jay nods. "Allow me, Master Jason. Would you like a cappuccino?"

"Sure. Mocha, please."

"I'll get right on that as soon as I have the espresso readied for the Masters Timothy. The young one was up early this morning with Master Jason and Master Dick. Apparently, Master Dick has decided to gift Master Timmy his spare vibranium-treated uniform, seeing as they're the same size. Master Jason may have given him the idea I suspect."

"That's great, Alfie. I'm sure Timmy will love it."

"Indeed, sir. He's already gone out on a morning patrol with Robin and Red Hood in his excitement. Red Hood assured me they would stick to the less disreputable parts of town."

"He's a good brother. I'm sure Red Hood will watch out for them."

"Would you like a morning milkshake this morrow? Perhaps a mocha banana and blackberry frappuccino?"

"You can do that? What am I saying? Of course you can. You can do anything."

"I appreciate the vote of confidence, Master Jason. I will have it ready by the time Masters Timothy and the other Master Jason will be downstairs if you would be so kind as to fetch them for me."

"Of course, Alfie. I'll be right back."

"I wouldn't count on it, sir. I don't pretend to know your Timothy well enough to venture a guess, but the Master Timothy I am accustomed to will take at least twenty minutes to be awake enough to use the stairs."

"Thanks, Alfie. I'll keep that in mind."

Jay hurries back upstairs as Alfred finishes the espresso drinks and goes to Tim's room where he rips the blankets off the bed, exposing both Tims to the air conditioner and the sunlight coming in the window. He earns two identical mumbles of 'evil' with that and starts to kiss his boyfriends awake. Hemlock comes back from brushing his teeth around that time, having opened a brand new spare toothbrush and starts off kissing them awake from further south. By the time Red Robin is bucking into his mouth, Jay has joined him so he won't have to split his attention and they trade off for about fifteen minutes until both Tims are wide awake and coming undone in their mouths. 

"Holy shit!" says Redwing. "Did you guys practice synchronizing? You totally rehearsed that. There's no way you could be that perfect right off the bat."

"Yeah they could," says Red Robin. "Jasons are perfect like that."

They each get musky flavored kisses from their boyfriends before heading to the bathroom together to save time. After the twin streams die down, they come out refreshed mumbling 'coffee'.

"Nectar of life is downstairs, Tims," says Jay. "Alfie made espresso for you." Red Robin and Redwing quickly go downstairs to verify Jay's claims and are pleasantly surprised. There's nutmeg in Red Robin's and cinnamon in Redwing's. By the time the Jasons finish making out in the Tims' absence, they are all dressed for the day and rush downstairs to find mocha frappuccinos with various fruits blended in and happily down their drinks with gusto. "Thanks a million, Alfie," says Jay.

"Yeah, you're the best!" says Hemlock.

Alfred's eyes twinkle and he says, "Anything for you Masters Jason. Are you prepared for breakfast? I have been keeping it warm for you."

"Fuck yes!" says Jay before he catches himself. "Sorry, Alfie. I mean, that sounds wonderful."

When breakfast is served at the dining table, Hemlock only has the hash browns and fruit salad, but moans as the flavors hit his tongue. He was right, he decides. Alfred _is_ the best. 

The others down the sausage, eggs and waffles quickly and the Tims have some salad, though not much compared to their usual eating habits of unusually high vegetable and fruit intake. Once they're finished with breakfast, Red Robin goes in Tim's room with Jay, and they call their Bruce to touch base and let him know they'll be coming home soon. 

"Tim? Is that really you?"

"Yeah, Bruce. It's me and Jay. We wanted to tell you we're all safe and we're coming home today or tomorrow."

"Love you, Dad," Jay chimes in. 

"I love you both, sons. I saw the texts about the new costumes. You both look very handsome in them. And I'm glad they're bullet-proof. That will set me much more at ease when you patrol."

"I'm glad you're relieved," says Tim. "The Alfie here is almost as good as our Afred. I think he's perfect in every universe."

"That's very possible," says Bruce with a smile in his voice. "Should I be expecting visitors when you come back home?"

"Actually, yes. Redwing and Hemlock will be staying with us for a while. Redwing still has to teach us to fly with our new wings and Hemlock is—"

"—a welcome addition to our family," says Bruce. "Both can stay here as long as they like, or even indefinitely."

"Thanks for understanding, Pops," says Jay. "You wouldn't believe how good Hemlock is at– wait! You're not going to make anyone watch the slideshow, are you?"

"That depends. Are you being _safe_?"

"Yes, for the love of God, we are being safe!" says Tim. 

"Good. I'm glad you are thinking of your safety. Do you know when I should expect you home?"

"We're not sure yet," says Tim. "We still have to work out the logistics, but I'm pretty sure we can make it today or tomorrow."

"Okay. Take care of yourselves. I love you, boys."

"We love you too," says Jason.

They hang up the call before texting Timmy and asking when he'll be home. He asks for another hour and assures him that they're perfectly safe and having fun. Then the four boys go to gear up in the Batcave and get ready to go out on a patrol of their own, just for the fun of it. They find their uniforms all cleaned and waiting for them. There's a note from Red Hood.

'Dear fellas, don't leave without saying goodbye. I'm going to miss you a lot, and I want the Els to have a chance to say their goodbyes too. 

Red Robin, your stuff from LexCorp is in the green backpack by the lockers. 

I'm out with Timmy and Dick right now and we'll be back in a couple of hours. Don't worry, I'm taking care of them. 

Zatanna's working on additional multiversal phones for us to use to keep in touch. 

Love you guys. Take care of yourselves.'

 

***

 


	12. Morning Patrol

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Tims and Jasons (along with Little Dick) go for a morning patrol. But things go wrong Terribly wrong.

  


***

  


" _Where's my goddamn batarang?!_ "

Tim is vigorously searching the green backpack for his stuff and everything seems to be there _except_ their ticket home. Maybe Jason his it so they wouldn't leave without saying goodbye. Red Robin makes a mental note to knee him in the balls for that. 

"Relax, Tim, we'll find it," says Jay. "I'm sure it's just misplaced."

"It was a _gift_! Something to remember Star Sapphire and Catboy by!" says Red Robin.

"In all honesty, they're pretty memorable without the sparkly shuriken," says Jay. "We'll find it before we go home. I promise."

"Jay, that promise may be impossible to break! That batarang might be our only ticket home! We don't know if we can even find our universe without it!"

"He's right, Tim," says Redwing. "We'll find it."

Red Robin groans in displeasure and frustration. "You're right," he says. "I'm sure it's around somewhere."

"Want flying lessons?" asks Redwing.

"Not yet," says Red Robin. "I'm a little distracted right now."

"No problem. We can do it later or after we get to your universe. You still want to go on patrol? Show off your new uniforms?"

" _I_ want to," says Jay. "Please, Prettyboy?"

"Okay," says Red Robin. "We can go. Maybe we can catch up with Timmy while we're out." 

The quadro of vigilantes suits up and get ready to go out. They restock their utility belts and the Tims wear capes rather than wings while the Jasons go bare backed. They are almost ready to go out when Redwing says, "Let's get a little more coffee before we go."

On cue, Alfred arrives in the Batcave carrying a tote-tray of coffee beverages: cinnamon latté for Redwing, Americano with nutmeg for Red Robin ( _and just **how** did he know Red Robin takes nutmeg in his coffee?!_), vanilla chai soy latté for Hemlock and mocha frappuccino for Jayhawk. They accept the drinks with 'thank you's, 'you're the best's and a ' _fucking awesome!_ ' from Jayhawk.

"Language, Master Jason."

"Sorry, Alfie."

They finish their coffees and give Alfred hugs before heading out on the Batcycles, two on each, to go on patrol. They find Red Hood and the Robins easily enough and set the security on the Batcycles before heading up to the roof of a nearby building and grappling towards their comrades. 

"Hey, Hood," says Red Robin. "Any action this morning?"

"A couple of muggings but it's been mostly quiet," says Red Hood.

"How ya doin', Timmy?" says Jayhawk. "We haven't seen you a lot since we've been here."

"I like it here," says Timmy. "I want to bring Steph next time. I think she'd really like The Team."

"Next time?" says Red Robin.

"Well, sure. I figured you would split your time between here and home as a compromise for your new boyfriend."

"First of all, it's boyfriend _s_ ," says Jay. "And secondly, we don't know how easily we'll be able to travel between universes."

"But Redwing is coming home with us, right?" says Timmy.

"Yeah, I am," says Redwing, "but to plan extra trips before we've got all the kinks worked out is probably not wise. We should figure out how to safely travel between our universes before we make regular visits."

"Oh. Okay," says Timmy. He seems a little disappointed. _Good_ , Red Robin thinks, _That means Young Justice has been taking good care of him while we've been dealing with suspicious Kryptonians and Black Lantern._

"Mind if we tag along?" asks Jayhawk. 

"Sure," says Red Hood. "I'll race you to Wayne Tower." The two Jason's set off grappling, leaving the others to go after them.

"Man, if I had my wings on right now, I'd totally beat them there," says Redwing.

"Looking forward to the flying lessons," says Red Robin. "I'm still too distracted right now to learn a new skill like that, but I'm looking forward to it."

"Flying is awesome," says Redwing.

"I'd rather stick to grappling," says Hemlock. "I'm really more of a ground person."

"Screw that," says Tim-Robin. "I want wings."

"We can work up to that," promises Red Robin. 

"Damn, they sure are going fast," says Dick-Robin. "How the hell do they go so fast?"

"One grappling gun in each hand," says Redwing. "See the two lines?"

"Oh yeah," says Dick-Robin. "That makes sense. Unnecessarily dangerous but it makes sense."

The group follows Red Hood and Jayhawk to Wayne Tower, grappling with ease and grace. Hemlock's style is a little more fun loving, swinging up to go airborne on the crest of his sine-wave-like path and screaming _woo-hoo!_ s and _yippee!_ s as he free falls through the air, sending out a grappling line when he falls halfway to the ground. The Tims have more efficient, less dangerous movements, and Dick has an odd mixture of the above, executed with an acrobat's fluid grace. 

By the time they've caught up to the Jasons, they're at Wayne Tower, perching gracefully on a ledge. That's when they see the smoke in the distance. It's at the railroad tracks near the docks and from this distance, it's hard to tell what it is. That is, for everyone except Red Hood. His binocular vision captures the scene in perfect clarity. 

"Two train cars are off their tracks and one's on fire," says Red Hood. "We should head to the docks and check it out."

They start grappling again, but Red Hood forgoes the grappling hooks and flies towards the docks at a faster pace. Too fast to keep up with, but slow enough that the others will only be a minute or two behind him. _Good_ , thinks Red Robin, _At least he knows better than to do this alone, whatever_ this _is_.

The group races quickly towards the source of the smoke and when they get there, Red Robin, Redwing and Jayhawk find themselves weak and nauseous. The green and red glow from one of the downed train cars tells them all they need to know.

"Kryptonite," says Red Robin. "We have to keep our distance. It's Kryptonite."

"Good luck with that," says a gruff but almost robotic sounding voice. A cyborg covered in green metallic armor comes up behind them and throws Jayhawk towards the train car. He's got Redwing in the air, but Redwing extends his bo-staff into the cyborg's human eye, causing him to drop the weakened Bat instead of throwing him. Tim-Robin quickly begins to pull Redwing away while Dick-Robin uses smoke bombs and escrimas to keep the cyborg busy.

"Robin!" Yells Red Robin, "Get Jayhawk away from there! Hurry!" Timmy runs off to pull Jay away from the pile of Kryptonite and Jay is barely moving, but Red Robin can hear him groaning in pain, so at least he's alive.

"Who the hell is that?" asks Redwing.

"Metallo," says Red Robin. "His power source is a huge chunk of Green Kryptonite in his chest. Deadly to Kryptonians. Superman's fought him before, but now I'm wondering how. We only have a fraction of Kal-El's susceptibility to Green K, and we're floored. I don't think I've ever been this sick in my life."

"Well, I'm not sick!" says Hemlock. He pulls out a pair of tasered escrimas and joins Dick-Robin in fighting Metallo. Hemlock guessed correctly when he figured the tasers on the escrimas would fuck with the cyborg's circuitry. They move moved easily through the smoke as Metallo swings wildly, unable to hit the acrobat's. Finally, Hemlock focuses his powers and lands a green thumb in Metallo's human eye. Hopefully, he's human enough to be susceptible to Hemlock's poisonous biology. 

He isn't. The cyborg shoes no signs of slowing down, but the thumb in his eye has distracted him well enough for Hemlock to jam a taser under his arm. Unexpectedly, Tim-Robin joins the fight.

"Robin!" Timmy says, "Go help Jay and the others. I got this." Timmy pulls a plasma cutter from his utility belt and stars cutting away at the jammed arm. Metallo kicks him hard, landing him in the dust with the wind knocked out of him, but the damage is done to the arm joint, now fused in place, and Metallo has lost the use of his right arm. "Hemlock! Jam his legs!"

Hemlock maneuvers until Metallo is on the ground in a leg-lock. Timmy quickly starts plasma cutting the leg. Soon, half of the joint is fused in place, and the other half is cut altogeter. Metallo gets a good swing in and hits Hemlock hard on the head. Hemlock is bleeding profusely and isn't getting up. Then Red Hood appears, crawling out from underneath a pile of Kryptonite, where Metallo must have landed him, and once he's far enough away from the Kryptonite, he uses his heat vision to saw Metallo's torso in half, exposing his Kryptonite heart and taking away his mobility.

The two Robins quickly go to Hemlock and put pressure on the wound. It's bad. Red Hood uses the comm in his helmet to call Lex and at super-speed, flies Hemlock to the hospital in Metropolis.

  


***

  


When Hemlock wakes up in the hospital, he's wearing a beaded necklace and two rings. The necklace is full of green and black beads and the rings are glowing blue. He sees two doctors watching him and asks, "What happened?"

"Your skull was severely fractured and you were bleeding internally. Thanks to the jewelry you're wearing, most of the damage has been healed. Mister Luthor will want to know you're awake." The doctor who just spoke leaves while the other approaches the hospital bed, making sure to give Hemlock his space.

"Lex Luthor? Oh. It's his jewelry, huh?" says Hemlock.

"Yes, those trinkets are made of a special meteorites and can give on a healing factor, though only while they are worn. We need you to keep those on for another hour in order to make sure all the damage is healed first."

"Okay. Can I have visitors?"

"Not yet," says the doctor. "In about twenty minutes, we can let people in to see you two at a time."

"Okay. Thanks for your help."

"Mister Todd, I don't think you realize exactly how bad this injury was. There was nothing we could do. You lost too much blood, your skull was shattered on one side, your right eye was damaged beyond all repair and part of your brain was missing. That doesn't even include the internal bleeding. Son, you were on death's doorstep."

"Thank God for healing factors then."

"Indeed. It's Mister Luthor you should thank. Without his meteor rocks, healing would have been impossible."

"I never wanted to be indebted to Lex Luthor, but I guess I'll thank him if I see him. Or maybe write a note. That might be safer."

"Mister Luthor will no doubt want to visit you here. I'm sure you'll get the chance to talk to him in person."

"Doesn't he terrify you?" asks Hemlock.

"Yes. But he also pays me extremely well." 

"Can I have something to drink?"

"I can't leave you alone, but I'll send for some water." The doctor pushes a button on his pager and a nurse comes in. She leaves and returns with a bottle of water. 

As Hemlock drinks, he thinks of how close the others came to death and decides it was worth it. He would do everything he could to protect them. There is no other option for him, and he doesn't regret going into battle with Metallo. Healing factor or not, he would have done the same thing if he could do it over.

Except maybe dodge better.

  


***

  



End file.
